Strange days

Since my course has finished I’ve had 2 days filled with anxious feelings about going back to the old patterns and 5 days of practicing yoga twice a day on my own. I am happy to see that somehow I’m keeping my discipline and serious attitude towards my practice. I’ve almost read a whole book (a good one) about yoga in two days which has been quite inspiring and enlightening also.

Now, after hanging out on the beach for couple of hours with a friend I notice mixed feelings about this island while looking at myself in the mirror.

My time around here has been quite intense and strange at the same time. I attributed the strangeness of my somehow lack of will to socialise to my plutonic moment. I knew from start that I came here on business and not for some frivolous time at the tantric tropical paradise.

But after today’s leisure time at the naked beach I got myself wondering if I’m not taking this place for granted. Everyone around seems to be having such a great time and at the same time so grateful to be here. I’ve been really looking forward to fly back to England (yes I’m going back as I feel that there might still be my home, even if in a different city) that sometimes I get removed from the present moment almost completely. Wrong attitude, I know. That’s why I’ve been thinking about going to a self sustainable farm in the north, get back on the road and into the present moment. I just couldn’t make up my mind yet, if I want to hitchhike on my own and go for an adventure as by now I’m running low on cash and is a long distance from here to there. I don’t know yet. I’m not sure if I just want to relax before going back or go for some rough adventurous time. We will see..

Anyways, this friend that I’ve spent some time with today has his Moon in Gemini making a tight conjunction to my North Node and I couldn’t help but watch him with some degree of admiration. His capacity for engaging with many people at the same time, the genuine curiosity. The socialising impulse that somehow I seem to have lost around here. I even thought this maybe could be explained by astrocartography and my relocated chart in Thailand that puts my social Libra Moon into the 7th house of other people. I was thinking about that and wondering how strongly a geographic place can affect you.

From Sao Paulo to London there was a noticeable increase on my sense of freedom which I very much appreciated. My ascendant changes from Scorpio to Sagittarius with my Mars/Uranus conjunction in Sag very close to the angle. It’s truly amazing the tremendous feeling of freedom and independence that I experience there. My North Node also gets pretty close to my relocated descendant and is also very noticeable the amount of fated encounters that I’ve had over there. And most of them initiated by me.

Very different from how I feel around here. With the relocated ascendant in Aries and Mars (the ruler of it) in the eighth house I can tell that most of my energy is put into deep transformation that obviously, in a very scorpionic/8th house like, includes a massive degree of intense purging and seriousness. Then somehow, perhaps by resonance, my Saturn in Scorpio gets highlighted because I totally feel the seriousness of my relationship with the emotional realm and that leaves me no time for frivolity. But then again, maybe that comes down to my plutonic time and the synchronicity of me picking a place that emphasise and is conducive to the process of change…

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