Mostly I’m writing this post now as a reminder to myself.

I’m in Clapham Common having a coffee at the place I used to work before leaving everything behind. I actually just finished my second coffee. I really shouldn’t have done this as I’m now feeling a bit hyper. At the yoga school coffee is one of the things they tell you to quit.

I’m having my period in about a week, (I’ve been having my period around the full moon for quite a while), and feel strange. My PMS isn’t nearly as strong as it used to be before consistently practicing yoga like I’ve been doing everyday for the past 2 months and a half, but I can still feel it. The practice of yoga is not only decreasing my levels of PMS, but also providing me with detachment. That is truly great. Is like I can, instead of just becoming instantly possessed by it, stare at the more destructive parts of myself in the face.

Anyways, the more infantile part of me, the one that was desperately in love with that young man over a year ago, has been actively throwing emotions at me today. I’m still quite centered though. I’m not necessarily felling cheerful, but I’m peaceful.

This situation reminds me of the realisation I’ve had after coming back from Bristol last week.

The Pluto transit to my Moon is still an ongoing process, with the longest hit taking place pretty much during the whole second half of this year. I don’t like predictions and I strongly believe that thoughts create reality, but after I came back from Bristol I realised that my confusion and search for home is still going to linger on for a bit longer. The feeling of contentment and belonging that I’ve had during my last two weeks in Thailand whilst being super busy with astrology was just a taster. It was just a preview of, more or less, how my life can be once Im done with all of the detox and transformation expected from an intense plutonic time.

I feel that I really need to keep reminding myself of that in order to work constructively with whatever is being born within me. And the transit is perhaps only a reflection.

I like to think like that. I believe it to be more empowering and helpful in the cultivation of patience, a fundamental virtue in the process of maturation.


Energy work

My excitement needs a post to be registered.

Back in London again and had a pretty sound day today.

Later on, after almost 2 weeks that I’ve been back in the UK, I finally felt like contacting my ex lover. The one that played an important part in all of these changes that I’ve been making since last year. The one that was so hard to forget during this whole time of intense turbulence.

I guess I am very happy to have spoken to him just now. Happy to have shared a few of my thoughts and feelings about my life now.

But mostly I’m truly excited about putting in practice what I’ve learnt at the yoga course.

When I called him my heart was wildly pumping. It was amazing to see the effect that he still somehow has over me. There is this crazy amount of emotional intensity in this connection and that always felt quite uncomfortable to me, as well as somehow irresistible. Both my Pluto and Saturn are in Scorpio and as much as I praise and seek an intense emotional exchange and intimate connection with someone, I also dread that.

I could never ignore the fact that our composite Moon is tightly conjunct to Pluto.

There was, and it seems like there is still, a lot of powerful emotions being generated by our interaction. The difference now is knowing how to use that mainly as, quite literally, a generator. A generator of a kind of energy that can be harnessed for spiritual growth. Straight after my first attempt calling him and feeling those strong feelings I just did some of the yoga postures and breathing exercises for sublimation of energy. Basically I did the exercises that were designed to send the flow of energy from the lower chakras to the higher ones.

It worked pretty well I think.

When we actually spoke on the phone I was quite centered and did not lose the focus on myself. Amazing. This is precious knowledge for someone like me, someone that tend to feel things quite intensely. Especially when it comes to a love affair.

I think that finding ways to help reclaiming our power is crucial in the process of self realisation.

I feel content.