Letter from Saturn in Scorpio

Dear Sir/Madam,

Is outrageous the way that people are lacking depth when it comes to connections and intimacy.

Everything is so easily replaceable nowadays that people are also becoming disposable.

Or so it seems to me.

Why use people to get over someone that you have a strong connection with?

Why so much disrespect and frivolity?

Can’t you be on your own?

Since when has love become a phoney caricature?

A commodity?

Just like a piece of cheap furniture that you conveniently buy in order to be replaced as soon as you get bored and need a bit of a change?!

What is love to you?

To me, in order to experience a deep love you have to be unflinching. Is about knowing what you want and standing up for it. And when you don’t get it, being able to sit with your pain without running away from it.

Is also about being emotionally honest with yourself.

That deep kind of love won’t happen until you have some auhenticity and decide to be truthful to yourself.

It won’t happen until you have the guts to face your demons.

How can there be real intimacy if you cannot face your fears by yourself?

How can you be the container for another person’s shadow if you’re avoiding looking into the mirror?

Don’t be shallow, have some depth.

Only soulful connections are worth making.

Yours faithfully,

Saturn in Scorpio.

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Quick one

I just came here for a quick one.

The full Moon in Sagittarius was bang on my nodal axis and I was really flooded with ideas to write about (my north node is in Gemini). Unfortunately, I haven’t got much time so won’t be able to go too deep into anything.

Tomorrow I’m heading to another off grid festival, this time in Kent. I feel quite excited. It seems that the Sagittarian mood has contaminated me with a thirst for adventure. A feeling that I can recognise too well.

It feels like a little break from the heaviness of Pluto transiting my Moon.

It’s been 3 months since I’m back in England and I still haven’t seen my ex lover (the one that had an important role during these transits from Pluto and Uranus to my natal Moon). It seems that I’m finally getting over my obsession for him, or rather for what he represented to me.

I feel the need for freedom screaming louder inside my chest.

It’s funny how sometimes we can fall for an idea of someone rather than the actual person. In the last year I think that I’ve been relating more to a character that he has woken up inside myself than to him.

I’m beginning to free myself from a mental cage and starting to reclaim my power back from my own delusions.

 

Astrology of individuation.

I have to confess that I’m not so much into the astrology of general forecasting.

My virgoan mind finds very difficult to make or take in general affirmations about planetary positions without considering the individual that experiences it.

Yeah, right, Saturn is making a square to Neptune in the sky and that could be about a reality check of some kind, but to who? And in what format or in which dimension of life? And what if that Saturn-Neptune square activates my natal angular T-square or is sitting exactly on my Ascendant-Descendant axis?

Same with the lunar cycles. Yes we can be collectively more emotionally charged under the full moon but there is always gonna be a very unique level of experience. That’s what I find most fascinating.

Yes there are many archetypal traits in the Gemini-Sagittarius axis that I could think of, but to me is only when I place that full Moon into someone’s chart that things start to make more sense. Is it about the flourishing of new ideas or opportunities to heal your difficulty in communicating with your partner?

How can you set your intentions with more self-awareness?

To me Astrology is a bit like detective work, you go on following leads. You bring down to the most personal level of experience in order to empower.

Yes, Saturn is about walls and restrictions, limitations or mastery, but how do I relate to that principle?  How do I tend to experience this archetype in my psyche? Which house Saturn falls in and which house does it rule in my horoscope? What aspects does it make?

All of these are symbolically representing a complex that gets activated every now and then (reflected) by transits or progressions. Under a Saturn transit I might get a promotion at work instead of feeling lonely and miserable, or something else.

Every month the full Moon will be casting it’s light into a personal area of your horoscope that, even though archetypal, is unique to you.

 

 

Who you are by who you’re not..

Mercury retrograde is a great time to revisit and I really enjoy rereading my writings during this time. Unfortunately I don’t have most of my journals on me, with all my moving around that is impossible, but I somehow found a creative solution to travel in time a bit.

As Mercury is travelling backwards in Taurus, a Venus ruled sign connected with how we express love to others and to ourselves, I had the idea of finding and taking a look at all of my ex boyfriends using social media. This time the stalking wasn’t just meant to be random waste of time, there was a purpose behind it.

I wanted to see the mirrors of who I am not anymore.

I wanted to remember what led me to form a relationship with each one of them and how much our paths have diverged after a few years.

I became aware of my struggle to let go of a lover once I surrender into a highly passionate bond during my Saturn return, when for the first time I wasn’t in a relationship where someone else liked me more.

When for the first time I decided to take the risk (my progressed Venus had also just moved into Scorpio!) I could not build a stable relationship without an intense chemistry from my part anymore.

So before that, I did manage to be in many relationships where I had the upper hand for I wasn’t really passionate about any of them. I might have been infatuated for a little, but that would always fade rather quickly and I would find myself committed to someone I wasn’t that much into.

That was my pattern.

I broke up all of those relationships without looking back. There isn’t a single ex boyfriend that I “revisited” yesterday that I wonder what could have been if only (…) . Not really.

Most of them have pretty regular lives, some of them have children already. Some of them have traditionally married or are just about to get.

That doesn’t really bother me. I wish them well.

This has actually reinforced my idea that what is gone is gone, that there is no use in clinging to the past.

The person that I was then is not here anymore.

And by re encountering who I’m not I could have a clearer picture of who I am now. I’ve given myself the opportunity to think about my values when it comes to forming relationships from now on.

Creative ways of using Mercury retrograde (giggles)

 

 

Progressed Moon / Inner focus

In the last three years I’ve had lots of astrological stuff reflecting change and expansion in my life and that has also given me the opportunity to achieve more understanding of the symbols itself.

One of the obervations that I’d like to share is about the difference between the progressed moon aspecting a natal planet versus having transits to our natal moon.

I’ve had progessed moon crossing my ascendant and later on making a conjunction to my natal Mars/Uranus in the first house. At the same time, transiting Uranus was making an opposition and Pluto making a square to my natal Moon.

That has given me some material to be able to analyse the difference in “real life”.

I think while the natal Moon (like every personal planet in the horoscope) has a very specific significance in the astrological chart and every transiting planet will be activating that complex in any style connected with their symbolism (which sign, house etc), the Progressed Moon works more like our “inner eye”.

Transits from outer planets are very strong indicators of change in the life of a person. If it’s an opposition that change might be triggered by another person, but there is still a big upheaval regarding home and mothering in the case of the natal moon for example. Of course there are a lot of internal changes also happening, but I think that they are synchronised with big changes outside as well.

On the other hand, by experience, it seems that wherever the Progressed Moon is, so is our conscious attention at that especific moment. That gives us the opportunity to map out what parts of our psyche can be better integrated and when.

It feels a bit like that principle in our chart is bound to be expressed or will be screaming out when the Progressed Moon crosses it over.

When my progressed Moon made a conjunction to my Scorpio rising many of the lessons I had during my Saturn return became more clear to me. My seriousness regarding the emotional realm when it comes to relating (Saturn and rising in Scorpio), the importance of emotional honesty became very obvious to me. At that time I was hanging out with an older man and he was reflecting this to me by the way we were communicating with each other and especially the way he was honestly expressing his deeper feelings for me.

When my progressed Moon entered Sagittarius I was just about to leave my home and life in London. I started giving rise to my “hippie” side. I definitely started traveling more (I haven’t really stopped yet).

After a few months, the progressed Moon encountered first my Mars and sometime later my Uranus.

When my progressed Moon made a conjunction to my natal Mars (I also had progressed Mars conjunct the progressed Ascendant reinforcing the message) I was wwoofing in Cirencester. I was consciously embracing my masculine side, I knew I had to do things for myself. I had to be challenged physically, I had to prove my strength to myself.

I was staying alone in a roundhouse in the middle of a field and making fire every night to keep myself warm. Sometimes it would take me a while to get the fire going and sometimes I would burn my hand or hurt myself in some other way.

I looked a bit more scruffy, dirty clothes and shoes that were more practical than anything else. My endurance without a shower was beginning to increase.

But I was proud of myself.

I did notice a more masculine energy around me and I enjoyed it. The satisfaction  of not needing a man to put your tent up or to carry your backpack or to chop your kindling. The sense of freedom that that gives you because you’re more self sufficient. (my Mars is in freedom loving Sagittarius..)

Then a few months later the progressed Moon catches up with natal Uranus and all I wanted was to be on my own!

That happened in the middle of my hitchhiking trip with my friend, when we were spending most of our time together, waking up and going to bed and doing pretty much everything together. Even though we have a very deep and special connection that was challenging.

But, again, because I was aware of my astrology at that time I could use the situation to help me understand more about myself. Astrology to enhance awareness.

I could desperately feel how strong is my urge for independency and aloneness.

I thought back on previous relationships where the other person would somehow feels suffocating and how unconsciously I would find a way out in a sudden and disruptive manner (very uranic indeed!).

I realised how hard was for me to express my need for aloneness without hurting the other person. It was always quite hard for me to be in between hurting someone else or stepping all over my boundaries.

The balance between intimacy and privacy never came easily in my relationships.

And my traveling friend, who has the natal Moon in Cancer in the same degree of my mother’s Sun, reminded me of how much I grew up believing that my need for space was somewhat hurtful to my mother. She would always make a point (my mother) in showing me how rejected she felt every time I would rather stay alone in my room.

My conclusion after that was to embrace my uranic nature and need for independency more consciously.

Maybe in future relationships I will be able to voice it up more clearly.

The more conscious of ourselves, of who we are, the more likely to choose a truly compatible partner. In my case someone that needs intensity and passion but who also needs a great deal of space and freedom.

The progressed Moon gives you the opportunity to embrace yourself more..