Saturn-Pluto nightmares…

Yesterday I had the pleasure to watch a webinar that astrologer Lynn Bell gave on the Saturn-Pluto conjunction in Capricorn (already within orbit, will be perfecting in January 2020).

She made use of some powerful photographs made by artist Nicolas Bruno (who has a natal square between Pluto and Saturn) to illustrate the archetypal energies of Pluto and Saturn encountering each other.

I have experienced Saturn and Pluto’s powerful symbolism through family stuff, even though neither is placed in the 4th house in my chart.

Lately I have been feeling a little unsettled with the powerfully changing energies around, especially because of my father. He has Sun in Capricorn at the exact degree that the conjunction between Pluto and Saturn are going to happen in January next year. My mother has Sun in the last degree of Cancer, and my brother’s Sun is in the last degree of Capricorn with his Moon also in the final degrees of Cancer.

With all of my willingness to focus on spiritual growth and the powers of transformation and healing through crisis, I couldn’t ignore the fact that the Pluto-Saturn conjunction is activating every member of my nuclear family in a powerful and fundamental way!

The webinar was very helpful because it somehow helped me to keep a sense of the bigger picture, not to mention a deeper understanding of that planetary configuration. Interestingly, Lynn Bell shared that most of the pictures taken by the artist is inspired by his recurrent problems with sleep paralysis and nightmares, and she said that this transit is actually asking that we face those paralysing fears ourselves.

Something needs to die and we cannot hold it anymore.

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Uranian impulses

I’ve been reading Liz Greene’s book ‘The Art of Stealing Fire’ about Uranus and already had some powerful insights on the archetypal energy that the planet represents. She starts by saying that in her perspective, contrary to what we find in many astrology text books, there is nothing individual about Uranus. According to Liz Greene all of the outer planets represent collective yearnings and impulses that are best mediated by a strong (healthy) ego rather than the person being identified/possessed by it.

In her words: ‘Human nature, without individual consciousness and reflection, cannot contain Uranian vision, which tends to break loose and overwhelm the powers of individual reason and individual feeling.’

I resonate with that, and looking back in my life I feel that there were many moments where I unconsciously had a reaction based much more in ideas and visions rather than how I was truly feeling. I feel that the masculine has somehow overpowered the feminine in me over and over again, especially before my Saturn Return in 2012. (Uranus is conjunct Mars [my chart ruler] in the first house, square Sun/Mercury in the 10th, and opposite Chiron in the 7th).

Further in the book, on Uranian people’s difficulty in expressing feelings, Greene says : ‘Something inside keeps saying, “Don’t get stuck in all that emotional glue, keep the door open so you can leave if you have to.” (…) I think Uranus shuts itself up, because the expression of personal feeling binds us to other people, and the daimon wants us to be ready with our luggage packed and our tickets and passports in our hands.’   This quote really summarises how I dealt with attachments many times, wanting to suddenly break them and just walk away. There is a strong impulse in me that feels pretty much like what she describes in the book.

It has been a journey making this part (the one represented by the strong Uranus in my chart) conscious and stopping identifying with it as ‘myself’.

At the moment, for the last three years,  I have attracted a partner that is also highly Uranian and he somehow had been carrying a lot of the rational, logical, removed from human emotions type of inclinations for me. It’s just recently, after we separately went to see a jungian therapist astrologer, that it somehow dawned on me what was going on. (or at least one layer of it all!)

So now, even finding this book by Liz Greene in a shop in Glastonbury for a very good price seems to be reflecting this new understanding that perhaps Im ready to embrace… I don’t know. But I silently stop blaming him for the lack of ‘human connection’ in our relationship.