I’m hanging out at my friend’s kitchen now.
As usual he has woken me up at 7:30 am with his idiosyncratic routine. He is renting both of the bedrooms in the flat so we share the living room when I’m around.
I’m back in London again. I’m still traveling quite a bit even though I’m just getting more and more tired of it.
Last week I was at the forest of Dean which was lovely.
The man I’ve been seeing came to visit me and again we had an intense fight on the third day that we spent together. That’s also the third time this happens.
The Venus square Neptune part of my psyche really can’t seem to be able to discriminate and see this relationship clearly.
On one hand he challenges me a lot, which is great. I’ve never been with a guy who would confront me like he does. On another hand our encounters are becoming very stressful when we fight (even though we also share intense positive moments) and I can’t help but think that perhaps I would be better off on my own.
Since Pluto started transiting my natal Moon I’ve gone through so much strife and crisis. So much destruction has happened and now I just feel like rebuilding myself. Moving into my new home, focusing on saving up some money to buy myself a laptop again (pretty hard to keep writing on this small tablet.), sticking up to a good daily routine.. loving myself…
I’m also sure that he is a manifestation of this transit as I’ve met him when Pluto was retrograde making the third exact square to my moon in July.
Old manipulative tecniques, emotional blackmail, victimisation.. old unconscious patterns of relating in general don’t feature in my interaction with this man.
It doesn’t work. (Not that I consciously want them to work)
He always challenges and questions my communication a lot. He has Venus in Scorpio in the third house and is a lot more direct and talkative than most Scorpio in Venus men that I’ve been with in the past.
He is currently at a 10 day meditation retreat and we agreed not to talk to each other for those days.
Today I’m officially counting down the days to move in to my new bedroom in Bristol. 7 days to go. (And Pluto will be direct when that happens..)
Saturn is also making a trine to my MC and I’ve had a few unexpected requests for astrology work. That’s truly great because I’m not putting much of my energy into my passion at the moment (domestic issues are feeling more urgent with this Pluto/Moon stuff) so I can only imagine how it will be when I do focus on my work.
Internally I already feel different though. More confidence is available as I’m stepping more and more into my inner authority without feeling scared.
Also yesterday I did my first head stand.
I’ve been patiently and slowly working towards that since January. I wanted to do it with control and equilibrium rather than by throwing my legs against the wall.
Respect the timing..
(This also works as a symbolic reflection of all the work that I’ve been doing on myself with those multiple transits in the last few years..)