Transit after transit…

Mercury is retrograde at 13 degrees Sagittarius, very close to make a conjunction to my natal Uranus/Mars in the first house and a lot of the current theme for me has been connected with personal freedom and individuation.

I believe that Jupiter in the early degrees of Sagittarius is also echoing this message.

During this last period of Venus moving retrograde I have been questioning and feeling a strong urge to find more space within my relationship. (with the times when Venus opposed Uranus as a peak of realisation about this need)

Now what is strongly coming up to me is not only the need for personal freedom, but also lots of questions about our conditioning when it comes to relating with one another.

Last week we had a training course on life coaching and the group of people that came here for the training were amazing. I connected with many of them in such a beautiful way. The dynamic between the group reminded me of one of those conscious summer festivals that I used to go when Pluto was transiting my natal Moon.

It felt like home!

In the last night we did an angel walk together (basically walking in a corridor of people whispering beautiful messages into your ears) and had a very long group cuddle for at least an hour. My heart was so open and the love I felt was so strong that it felt like being high on drugs.

I was in such a powerful and beautiful state that even saying no and asserting myself became easy and loving as well. I felt empowered.

Since then, I’ve been thinking about the general conditioning of being supposed to love only one person, or being protective and caring only towards family members, etc. Why is that? Why can we not allow love to flow and increase itself by giving it freely?

Why are we not allowing love to ebb and flow organically?

I have read once that love is the only thing that does not work mathematically in the way we know, the more you give the more you have to give. You never run out of it. (talking about unconditional love here)

Then I thought that if my personal experience of transiting Pluto to my Moon is connected with my role in the collective change that we are going through, my new sense of security within is what will enable me to love more and to help breaking old patterns that do not foster growth in positive ways.

I would really like to find new ways of relating, with more authenticity and the willingness to be vulnerable and communicate openly.

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..”unconditional cosmic acceptance”..

I am preparing a little introductory talk that I will be giving tonight to the 24 Indian girls that are staying with us for 3 weeks. They are attending to a program on becoming “peace ambassadors” the we offer here where Im currently living and working.

While I was printing their charts I’ve noticed that more than half of the girls have either Moon in Scorpio or the Moon forming a major aspect to Pluto. Some of them that don’t, have either Pluto on the angles or other personal planets in Scorpio.

Im thinking that it is interesting to see such a plutonic signature in a group of young Indian women that are here to learn different skills to bring back to where they come from in order to promote positive change.

Interestingly, although I am off from work officially, today one of the trustees came for lunch and she was brought into my house by the founder of this organisation to have a quick look on something.  When she met me she was told that Im an astrologer and, as soon as she heard that, she placed the palm of her hand right up into my nose asking me what I see.

As I explained her I didn’t read palms she impatiently asked me what do I do then. When I mentioned astrology charts based on the date and time of birth she just quickly told me her birthday and the hour of her birth. I then went on explaining that I actually needed a computer program and it would take a little time for preparing the interpretation…

Out off politeness I wrote down her details and the two other women that showed up with her also wrote down their details on my book. The situation made me chuckle inside for a few different reasons, but the main one was the synchronicity between what happened today and all the questions I’ve been asking myself while reading “The Astrologer, the Counsellor and the Priest” written by Liz Greene (the one I mentioned on my last post).

In the beginning of this seminar she speaks about the archetypes that might be unconsciously played out by the astrologer and one of them is Prometheus and stealing fire from the gods. Liz says that like in the myth, we also have to be punished, and she believes that this might be in the root of many common struggles that astrologers usually have. The lack of material wealth, the underlying feeling of guilt that prevents us from charging a proper price for our work or to value our time, and the feeling of loneliness and separation from society. Most people don’t get what it is that we do!

The situation today was the manifestation of some of these symptoms, the women barging in and expecting me to just freely give my time, the palm thing, the lack of boundaries and respect for my professionalism?

Anyway I haven’t got much time left to finish this post so I would like to end with a quote from the same book I’ve been talking about.

Liz Greene is speaking about what we do as astrologers (definitely not necessarily the only definition, but interesting food for thought) :

“Much of what we do for the client has nothing to do with the specific configurations we are looking at, but rather, with the fact that the chart, and ultimately God or the gods through the patterns of the chart, affirm the right of that person to be what he or she is. In this sense the astrologer  acts as intermediary for the cosmos, affirming the individual’s identity regardless of parental expectations imposed on it. A chart reading can be a revelation of unconditional cosmic acceptance.”

 

Saturn stabilising energy

I have been meaning to come back here for quite a while but just didn’t manage.

In the last month I’ve developed a taste for the magazine “Womankind” (amazingly beautiful and ad free, full of really interesting articles and interviews), continued reading books and worked on developing my new routine in the community Im living and working since February this year.

Since Pluto has made the last square to my natal Moon things seem to have settled within and without.

My boyfriend also got a job as a cook and has moved here with me since around March. We’ve met in July 2016, when Pluto was making the third or forth square to my Moon, and we have been developing what for me is the most authentic, challenging and rewarding partnership that I’ve ever had.

Since Pluto moved from the 2nd to the 3rd house in my chart issues connected with money and self sufficiency are slowly fading. I feel secure and quite solid materially speaking, which is a very different place to be compared to the last 6 years of insecurity and little money to spend.

I can buy things now. I can also invest money in education or travels if I wish to do so. (Jupiter is placed in the second house in my horoscope, can you tell?)

It is very interesting to observe how feelings and themes are constantly shifting in a synchronous dance with the cosmos.

Going from these long lasting years of emotional breakdown and a tragic, and intense, feeling of insecurity and death to regained confidence and solidity.

From transiting Pluto square natal Moon to transiting Saturn trine natal Mercury and Sun (with Uranus heading towards a trine to those natal planets as well).

I feel strong and capable. I also see recognition being bestowed upon myself in the community and at work. Me and my boyfriend have been offered a little wonderful house in the grounds where we work. We are finally going to have the chance to live on our own within the community.

And the house is amazing, with beautiful big windows facing the forest.

We move in less than a month.

Life has a funny way of developing if we dare allowing it enough space to do so.

Now in the last few days I’ve been contemplating applying for a master in cultural astronomy and astrology. I somehow feel that this could be a wonderful way of expressing these supportive and earthy transits that I am going through.

At my job I also have the opportunity for writing projects for training courses and I feel that this master course will perhaps be giving me much needed food for thought and inspiration.

I had my eye on this master degree for a while but was put off by my lack of stability and material security. How can I concentrate and write essays when Im not sure if I can pay the rent in the end of the month?

 

 

Splits in the psyche

Im almost all settled down in my new home in the Forest of Dean.

It’s interesting to see that, albeit somewhat painful, the process of moving really keep us in check with how much we have accumulated in our lives.

I don’t mean only material stuff but also stories and feelings…

Every time I move (and I have been moving quite a lot, compared to my childhood, in the last 10 years) I always make that a ritual for getting in touch with my deeper self.

The unchanging self that keeps me going.

I do that through reading passages of my (many) journals while I put them in a box to take with me.

Even though the rational-analytical in me is very strong, I can also sense a powerful emotional undercurrent happening in the process.

With many of my personal planets in Mutable signs I see changes as an important and necessary part of life. But in a strange way they also trigger a feeling of getting closer to death.

I can see my Ascendant in Scorpio playing its part in how I initiate things.

Death and grief are mixed up with the joy and excitement that guided me in making the decision to change in first place…

Mutable signs versus fixed signs in the astrological chart can reflect one of the potential splits in our psyche.

And Im writing this post in an attempt to give voice and integrate these two distinct sides in me.

 

In between worlds

Im on a haze.

It has been challenging to concentrate in the last couple of months and again I find myself struggling to keep up with my writing.

The full super blue blood moon eclipse on the 31 of January at 11 degrees Leo/Aquarius (bang on my MC/IC) has been truly intense.

It culminated with me finding out that I got the job at the Forest of Dean and everything in my life (regarding home and belonging) changes once more.

I am happy… and although surprisingly busy with astrology work, I just can’t seem to be able to focus a hundred per cent in my career at this moment.

Readings and lectures are going quite well but my process of change and becoming is taking over for now. The whole Pluto-Moon stuff that has been happening within me still going strong.

I would love to be doing and writing more, but there doesn’t seem to be much separation between my process of growth and the services that I can offer people. And at the moment, growth and change takes me over.

I have been reading a lot about greek mythology and psychology though, and have a strong feeling regarding a master course on the subject.

We will see.

For now, Im in between worlds. And that’s that.

Acceptance.