Multifaceted transiting Pluto..

I just came back from visiting my boyfriend in Wales.

He is staying at an Ashram on the top of a hill in the countryside.

With Neptune activating a strong configuration in his natal chart, which includes his Moon, he has decided to go on a journey in search for home and his purpose in this world.

He is also a number five in numerology. And so am I.

My knowledge in numerology isn’t very vast, but I know a little about number 5 being strongly connected with freedom and travels (which in turn, in my astrological mind, resonates with the archetypal energy of Sagittarius).

This visit has given me some food for thought.

As Pluto slowly makes its way back in the sky (in our perspective), heading to form the last almost exact square to my natal Moon, I realise that the huge transformation (which includes my search for home) hasn’t finished with me yet.

The strong call I felt in the beginning of this transit, back in early 2015, to go and live in a community of like minded people came back to me rather strongly while I was in Wales.

Living in nature and gardening almost daily, chanting and practicing yoga together, sharing the space with people that are somehow in a similar wave length felt closer to home than being in the city.

Eating fresh food from plants that you can potentially form a relationship with, by caring daily and communicating with them, gets you in touch with your centre much more than going to supermarkets.

We really are what we eat!

I know that one of the manifestations of Pluto transiting my Moon in the last few years has been a big and gradually change in my diet and relationship with food. (This is my second month experimenting with/eating Vegan food and the awful period pain that I used to get every month has improved a lot.)

I now have the feeling that I will be going back to the road in a few months.

But it is interesting to see that the earlier feelings of destruction and despair inside me has given place to something else, a stronger “Me”, so this is a different phase in the process of searching for home.. and I somehow look forward to it..

Advertisements

Lunar mess

Yesterday I went to a little Christmas gathering in one of my neighbours. I didn’t really know anyone there apart from my house mate.

It is amazing to see how much of my lunar function is still sort of out of tune.

People would come to talk to me and I would just see myself reacting in an overly Libran fashion, smiling all the time but also feeling the undercurrents of anxiety or darker feelings in almost everyone in the room (probably more linked to my Saturn and Pluto in the 12th house).

Really, I was amazed to see how this part of my psyche (the one connected with the symbolism of the Moon) is still not functioning in a more authentic fashion yet, (although I can now see that happening whereas before it used to be just a reaction, so there is some growth there.)

Mercury will be going retrograde at 15 degrees, the same degree of my Moon in Libra, so probably more insights for me on the Pluto transit and it’s effects on my Moon.

I think that’s probably part of what happens, when going under an important major transit, whichever planet/drive in your psyche is being touched is going to be completely out of tune for a while.

I guess this is just a natural part of the process of transformation. It has to be messed up in order to be reorganised in a different fashion.

Toiletroom

How amazing.

I’m laying down on the floor of a tiny little room beside the toilet at my friend’s house. The boiler is in this place and keeps making quite a bit of noise every now and then.

There is a broken chair and some of my stuff spread around.

A bag filled with books, a backpack and a big box containing a random selection of my belongings that I’ve picked up yesterday at my brother’s house.

The last time I saw these box was when I moved out back in March 2015. It feels like having a little treasure really. I had forgotten a lot of those things and it was a joy yesterday to have them in my hands again.

Never mind that though, I’m not so much into the material side of things. Things are just things. They’re replaceable.

What I want to state here is my feeling of appreciation for this piece of floor in this tiny room (while Pluto goes direct!). The old me would not be able to even conceive myself being relax and feeling secure in a situation like this one right now.

And right now I just feel so grateful for being able to sleep alone again…

Lately I’ve been craving my own company so much that I would rejoice in the toilet for having the feeling of aloneness between 4 walls..

(And speaking about that, someone just used the toilet as I was writing this post and the smell is pretty bad here now..)

Updates of plutonian times..

I’m hanging out at my friend’s kitchen now.

As usual he has woken me up at 7:30 am with his idiosyncratic routine. He is renting both of the bedrooms in the flat so we share the living room when I’m around.

I’m back in London again. I’m still traveling quite a bit even though I’m just getting more and more tired of it.

Last week I was at the forest of Dean which was lovely.

The man I’ve been seeing came to visit me and again we had an intense fight on the third day that we spent together. That’s also the third time this happens.

The Venus square Neptune part of my psyche really can’t seem to be able to discriminate and see this relationship clearly.

On one hand he challenges me a lot, which is great. I’ve never been with a guy who would confront me like he does. On another hand our encounters are becoming very stressful when we fight (even though we also share intense positive moments) and I can’t help but think that perhaps I would be better off on my own.

Since Pluto started transiting my natal Moon I’ve gone through so much strife and crisis. So much destruction has happened and now I just feel like rebuilding myself. Moving into my new home, focusing on saving up some money to buy myself a laptop again (pretty hard to keep writing on this small tablet.), sticking up to a good daily routine.. loving myself…

I’m also sure that he is a manifestation of this transit as I’ve met him when Pluto was retrograde making the third exact square to my moon in July.

Old manipulative tecniques, emotional blackmail, victimisation.. old unconscious patterns of relating in general don’t feature in my interaction with this man.

It doesn’t work. (Not that I consciously want them to work)

He always challenges and questions my communication a lot. He has Venus in Scorpio in the third house and is a lot more direct and talkative than most Scorpio in Venus men that I’ve been with in the past.

He is currently at a 10 day meditation retreat and we agreed not to talk to each other for those days.

Today I’m officially counting down the days to move in to my new bedroom in Bristol. 7 days to go. (And Pluto will be direct when that happens..)

Saturn is also making a trine to my MC and I’ve had a few unexpected requests for astrology work. That’s truly great because I’m not putting much of my energy into my passion at the moment (domestic issues are feeling more urgent with this Pluto/Moon stuff)  so I can only imagine how it will be when I do focus on my work.

Internally I already feel different though. More confidence is available as I’m stepping more and more into my inner authority without feeling scared.

Empowerment.

Also yesterday I did my first head stand.

I’ve been patiently and slowly working towards that since January. I wanted to do it with control and equilibrium rather than by throwing my legs against the wall.

Respect the timing..

(This also works as a symbolic reflection of all the work that I’ve been doing on myself with those multiple transits in the last few years..)