Saturnian growth pos Plutonic apocalypse…

Saturn is transiting around 14 degrees Capricorn and just about to form the first of 3 or 4 exact squares to my natal Moon in Libra. I can feel this transit reflecting couple of different processes within myself.

On one hand I felt the urge to communicate my need to cut down my hours at my current job as a chef so I can dedicate more of my time to what I believe is my call and vocation: astrology.  Saturn is currently transiting my second house so material issues and my values in general have been taken under consideration before I made this decision.

Interestingly, people have been in touch with me inquiring about my services, and when I was travelling in Brazil earlier this month, I had about 6 clients (plus 3 that I did not have time to see before coming back to the UK), which in a way is telling me to get back on track and follow my bliss!

(I also did a successful talk for the Psychedelic Society in Bristol at the end of November last year in which a scholar from Bristol University was present, and later on he contacted me saying how much he appreciated my talk and invited me to participate of one of his projects about paganism and well being!)

Last week I also started to go to the gym, for the first time in my life, and Im actually really enjoying it! I feel so good after exercising (I used to cycle regularly when I lived in London but not anymore since I’ve moved to the forest) that I don’t really need to eat all the sugar and comfort food that I needed in order to make me happier. It’s interesting that just the act of exercising more seems to naturally make you want to choose healthier foods. This is also a lunar theme, the daily routine and diet, which seems to be going under transformation at the moment.

Saturn in Capricorn reflects the gift of discipline and the potential to develop will power. Im doing my best to take this moment as an opportunity to strengthen and bring myself closer to the kind of life that I want to live rather than wait for people to change or opportunities to be given.

I believe this is a DIY time!

Another theme connected with the Moon in Libra is love relationships.

Me and my partner have been living together for a few months and Im realising more and more that this relationship isn’t fulfilling my needs (Moon again) and that I have been oblivious to this fact for quite some time. The feeling that I’ve been having lately is strongly motivating me to fill up the gaps myself and to move out eventually (when is the right time I suppose, I don’t really want to rush anything under a Saturn transit…).

I am not sure how this process is going to unfold, but Im feeling a strong urge not only to be self contained but also to be self motivated enough to create my own happiness instead of expecting someone else to change.

I feel like I have done my homework when Pluto was transiting my Moon and a lot of the challenges that came up were met head on. Many of my “libran” fears connected with relationships, including the fear of being alone (fear of doing things on my own, like travelling or moving houses, etc), was addressed in the last 5 or 6 years and I feel so much stronger now.

I feel that I can do anything by myself! Hah!

We shall see how things unfold, with new awareness and my commitment to the process of individuation and growth, and I hope that all of you out there are making the most of the energies available for your individuation and growth as well.

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An Astrologer’s wishes for 2019

The heat in Brazil is so strong that for most of the day I cannot do much. Sometimes it feels like my brain is melting.

For the last five or six years I consciously went through a Pluto transit to my natal Moon and this is the first time that I came back since. Everything looks and feels strange and familiar at the same time.

That strange familiar feeling of not belonging strongly remains.

I miss my home in England.

I am enjoying some things here, but after couple of weeks its clear to me that many of the structures, customs, opinions, ideas, ideals, cultural identity… have all changed to me? Sao Paulo somehow feels largely small?

Since 2012 I went through multiple transits, I’ve had my first Saturn return and transits from all 3 outer planets to my personal planets. I’ve been dissolved, dismembered and initiated into adulthood. Much pain and suffering was met on the way, but looking at myself in the mirror I can see that it was worth it.

I believe that if we don’t adapt to the seasons we can’t make the most of it. The idea of intermittent happiness to be pursued in life is a fallacy. But being stuck in a loop of sadness for too long can also be damaging.

Nature and its cycles have much to teach us. Accepting and taking action that is aligned with our personal cycle is one of the biggest lessons that I’ve learnt in the last 5 years. (Not that it was easy or that I have ceased to struggle with it. But I feel incredibly aware of it now.) Even if the action is by not taking any action. (something that can also be very challenging in a society that emphasises doing and achievement so strongly!)

So in this New Year Eve, close to a New Moon in Capricorn, my wish is that we can all learn how to be deeply rooted in ourselves, how to feel, trust, and follow the natural wisdom of our cycles, and, in this way, develop more authenticity in a mature and solid manner.

Then, and only then (I feel), we are going to be able to, genuinely, have a positive impact in our society, planet, cosmos, universe… whatever needed.

Happy new year!

 

Splits in the psyche

Im almost all settled down in my new home in the Forest of Dean.

It’s interesting to see that, albeit somewhat painful, the process of moving really keep us in check with how much we have accumulated in our lives.

I don’t mean only material stuff but also stories and feelings…

Every time I move (and I have been moving quite a lot, compared to my childhood, in the last 10 years) I always make that a ritual for getting in touch with my deeper self.

The unchanging self that keeps me going.

I do that through reading passages of my (many) journals while I put them in a box to take with me.

Even though the rational-analytical in me is very strong, I can also sense a powerful emotional undercurrent happening in the process.

With many of my personal planets in Mutable signs I see changes as an important and necessary part of life. But in a strange way they also trigger a feeling of getting closer to death.

I can see my Ascendant in Scorpio playing its part in how I initiate things.

Death and grief are mixed up with the joy and excitement that guided me in making the decision to change in first place…

Mutable signs versus fixed signs in the astrological chart can reflect one of the potential splits in our psyche.

And Im writing this post in an attempt to give voice and integrate these two distinct sides in me.

 

In between worlds

Im on a haze.

It has been challenging to concentrate in the last couple of months and again I find myself struggling to keep up with my writing.

The full super blue blood moon eclipse on the 31 of January at 11 degrees Leo/Aquarius (bang on my MC/IC) has been truly intense.

It culminated with me finding out that I got the job at the Forest of Dean and everything in my life (regarding home and belonging) changes once more.

I am happy… and although surprisingly busy with astrology work, I just can’t seem to be able to focus a hundred per cent in my career at this moment.

Readings and lectures are going quite well but my process of change and becoming is taking over for now. The whole Pluto-Moon stuff that has been happening within me still going strong.

I would love to be doing and writing more, but there doesn’t seem to be much separation between my process of growth and the services that I can offer people. And at the moment, growth and change takes me over.

I have been reading a lot about greek mythology and psychology though, and have a strong feeling regarding a master course on the subject.

We will see.

For now, Im in between worlds. And that’s that.

Acceptance.

 

Full Moon highlights

We just had a full moon in Cancer on the 1 of January and will be having another one on the 31.

The first one was mildly intense for me. I had my brother and 2 other old friends from school staying over at my place for a few days. It was really nice to have them around and we did have fun.

But I also caught myself worrying about everyone else’s wellbeing and feeling stressed out most of the time.

It is interesting to see how during a full moon things get really heightened depending on what gets activated in your natal chart. Whatever issue is being transformed in a longer process (reflected by a long term transit) gets very much under the spotlight in some kind of exaggerated form if activated by the full moon.

During the last few days I could really see the people pleaser in me (reflected by my moon in Libra) and how difficult it was to assert myself and my needs.

They went back to London couple of days ago and Im still recovering and indulging myself in my own company, aware that on the 31 of January there will be a full moon eclipse exactly conjunct my MC/IC axis.

Financial struggles and perhaps some inflexibility on my part seem to be pushing me to move again.

(Its funny to see that even though I have lots of mutability in my chart and a natural willingness to adapt, having the ruler of the 6th house conjunct Uranus in the first house reflects a side of myself that is very stubborn and peculiar when it comes to daily job and routine…)

I might be getting a job at a community in the Forest of Dean, still waiting to hear from them.

And here we perhaps come full circle.

With the starting point reflected by Pluto transiting my Moon in early 2015 and me leaving my London life behind in search for a more meaningful way to live.

That does not mean that I won’t be working on my astrological practice anymore.

But I can see big changes heading my way, highlighted by the coming full moon eclipse.