Saturnian growth pos Plutonic apocalypse…

Saturn is transiting around 14 degrees Capricorn and just about to form the first of 3 or 4 exact squares to my natal Moon in Libra. I can feel this transit reflecting couple of different processes within myself.

On one hand I felt the urge to communicate my need to cut down my hours at my current job as a chef so I can dedicate more of my time to what I believe is my call and vocation: astrology.  Saturn is currently transiting my second house so material issues and my values in general have been taken under consideration before I made this decision.

Interestingly, people have been in touch with me inquiring about my services, and when I was travelling in Brazil earlier this month, I had about 6 clients (plus 3 that I did not have time to see before coming back to the UK), which in a way is telling me to get back on track and follow my bliss!

(I also did a successful talk for the Psychedelic Society in Bristol at the end of November last year in which a scholar from Bristol University was present, and later on he contacted me saying how much he appreciated my talk and invited me to participate of one of his projects about paganism and well being!)

Last week I also started to go to the gym, for the first time in my life, and Im actually really enjoying it! I feel so good after exercising (I used to cycle regularly when I lived in London but not anymore since I’ve moved to the forest) that I don’t really need to eat all the sugar and comfort food that I needed in order to make me happier. It’s interesting that just the act of exercising more seems to naturally make you want to choose healthier foods. This is also a lunar theme, the daily routine and diet, which seems to be going under transformation at the moment.

Saturn in Capricorn reflects the gift of discipline and the potential to develop will power. Im doing my best to take this moment as an opportunity to strengthen and bring myself closer to the kind of life that I want to live rather than wait for people to change or opportunities to be given.

I believe this is a DIY time!

Another theme connected with the Moon in Libra is love relationships.

Me and my partner have been living together for a few months and Im realising more and more that this relationship isn’t fulfilling my needs (Moon again) and that I have been oblivious to this fact for quite some time. The feeling that I’ve been having lately is strongly motivating me to fill up the gaps myself and to move out eventually (when is the right time I suppose, I don’t really want to rush anything under a Saturn transit…).

I am not sure how this process is going to unfold, but Im feeling a strong urge not only to be self contained but also to be self motivated enough to create my own happiness instead of expecting someone else to change.

I feel like I have done my homework when Pluto was transiting my Moon and a lot of the challenges that came up were met head on. Many of my “libran” fears connected with relationships, including the fear of being alone (fear of doing things on my own, like travelling or moving houses, etc), was addressed in the last 5 or 6 years and I feel so much stronger now.

I feel that I can do anything by myself! Hah!

We shall see how things unfold, with new awareness and my commitment to the process of individuation and growth, and I hope that all of you out there are making the most of the energies available for your individuation and growth as well.

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An Astrologer’s wishes for 2019

The heat in Brazil is so strong that for most of the day I cannot do much. Sometimes it feels like my brain is melting.

For the last five or six years I consciously went through a Pluto transit to my natal Moon and this is the first time that I came back since. Everything looks and feels strange and familiar at the same time.

That strange familiar feeling of not belonging strongly remains.

I miss my home in England.

I am enjoying some things here, but after couple of weeks its clear to me that many of the structures, customs, opinions, ideas, ideals, cultural identity… have all changed to me? Sao Paulo somehow feels largely small?

Since 2012 I went through multiple transits, I’ve had my first Saturn return and transits from all 3 outer planets to my personal planets. I’ve been dissolved, dismembered and initiated into adulthood. Much pain and suffering was met on the way, but looking at myself in the mirror I can see that it was worth it.

I believe that if we don’t adapt to the seasons we can’t make the most of it. The idea of intermittent happiness to be pursued in life is a fallacy. But being stuck in a loop of sadness for too long can also be damaging.

Nature and its cycles have much to teach us. Accepting and taking action that is aligned with our personal cycle is one of the biggest lessons that I’ve learnt in the last 5 years. (Not that it was easy or that I have ceased to struggle with it. But I feel incredibly aware of it now.) Even if the action is by not taking any action. (something that can also be very challenging in a society that emphasises doing and achievement so strongly!)

So in this New Year Eve, close to a New Moon in Capricorn, my wish is that we can all learn how to be deeply rooted in ourselves, how to feel, trust, and follow the natural wisdom of our cycles, and, in this way, develop more authenticity in a mature and solid manner.

Then, and only then (I feel), we are going to be able to, genuinely, have a positive impact in our society, planet, cosmos, universe… whatever needed.

Happy new year!

 

Transit after transit…

Mercury is retrograde at 13 degrees Sagittarius, very close to make a conjunction to my natal Uranus/Mars in the first house and a lot of the current theme for me has been connected with personal freedom and individuation.

I believe that Jupiter in the early degrees of Sagittarius is also echoing this message.

During this last period of Venus moving retrograde I have been questioning and feeling a strong urge to find more space within my relationship. (with the times when Venus opposed Uranus as a peak of realisation about this need)

Now what is strongly coming up to me is not only the need for personal freedom, but also lots of questions about our conditioning when it comes to relating with one another.

Last week we had a training course on life coaching and the group of people that came here for the training were amazing. I connected with many of them in such a beautiful way. The dynamic between the group reminded me of one of those conscious summer festivals that I used to go when Pluto was transiting my natal Moon.

It felt like home!

In the last night we did an angel walk together (basically walking in a corridor of people whispering beautiful messages into your ears) and had a very long group cuddle for at least an hour. My heart was so open and the love I felt was so strong that it felt like being high on drugs.

I was in such a powerful and beautiful state that even saying no and asserting myself became easy and loving as well. I felt empowered.

Since then, I’ve been thinking about the general conditioning of being supposed to love only one person, or being protective and caring only towards family members, etc. Why is that? Why can we not allow love to flow and increase itself by giving it freely?

Why are we not allowing love to ebb and flow organically?

I have read once that love is the only thing that does not work mathematically in the way we know, the more you give the more you have to give. You never run out of it. (talking about unconditional love here)

Then I thought that if my personal experience of transiting Pluto to my Moon is connected with my role in the collective change that we are going through, my new sense of security within is what will enable me to love more and to help breaking old patterns that do not foster growth in positive ways.

I would really like to find new ways of relating, with more authenticity and the willingness to be vulnerable and communicate openly.

Saturn stabilising energy

I have been meaning to come back here for quite a while but just didn’t manage.

In the last month I’ve developed a taste for the magazine “Womankind” (amazingly beautiful and ad free, full of really interesting articles and interviews), continued reading books and worked on developing my new routine in the community Im living and working since February this year.

Since Pluto has made the last square to my natal Moon things seem to have settled within and without.

My boyfriend also got a job as a cook and has moved here with me since around March. We’ve met in July 2016, when Pluto was making the third or forth square to my Moon, and we have been developing what for me is the most authentic, challenging and rewarding partnership that I’ve ever had.

Since Pluto moved from the 2nd to the 3rd house in my chart issues connected with money and self sufficiency are slowly fading. I feel secure and quite solid materially speaking, which is a very different place to be compared to the last 6 years of insecurity and little money to spend.

I can buy things now. I can also invest money in education or travels if I wish to do so. (Jupiter is placed in the second house in my horoscope, can you tell?)

It is very interesting to observe how feelings and themes are constantly shifting in a synchronous dance with the cosmos.

Going from these long lasting years of emotional breakdown and a tragic, and intense, feeling of insecurity and death to regained confidence and solidity.

From transiting Pluto square natal Moon to transiting Saturn trine natal Mercury and Sun (with Uranus heading towards a trine to those natal planets as well).

I feel strong and capable. I also see recognition being bestowed upon myself in the community and at work. Me and my boyfriend have been offered a little wonderful house in the grounds where we work. We are finally going to have the chance to live on our own within the community.

And the house is amazing, with beautiful big windows facing the forest.

We move in less than a month.

Life has a funny way of developing if we dare allowing it enough space to do so.

Now in the last few days I’ve been contemplating applying for a master in cultural astronomy and astrology. I somehow feel that this could be a wonderful way of expressing these supportive and earthy transits that I am going through.

At my job I also have the opportunity for writing projects for training courses and I feel that this master course will perhaps be giving me much needed food for thought and inspiration.

I had my eye on this master degree for a while but was put off by my lack of stability and material security. How can I concentrate and write essays when Im not sure if I can pay the rent in the end of the month?

 

 

Pluto as a family share…

My mother’s chart ruler is Mercury conjunct Pluto in Leo in the 12th house.

When I think of this configuration I sense a split. Leo’s fiery energy somehow drowning in the contents of the 12th house, the most elusive of all.

The need to shine its uniqueness lost in union.

It feels like the sense of self is achieved only through, somehow, the transcendence of it.

Leo behind the scenes?

I am currently reading Lynn Bell’s book about planetary threads and family patterns and ¬† it is blowing me away.

The idea that each and every family has a certain myth (or perhaps a number of them), and that we are all playing it out again and again, really fascinates me.

Im thinking of Pluto again. Pluto and my family.

I have Pluto at 0 degrees in the 12th house. My brother has a t-square involving Pluto. Both my grandparents, from my mother’s side, have Pluto at 0 degrees.

And my mother with her Mercury conjunct Pluto in Leo in the 12th.

So many times I felt like I was touching on very deep seated stuff. Stuff that goes beyond my personal, conscious life.

We inherit so much more than just our parents looks!

Lynn Bell talks about the possibility of being fated to (consciously or unconsciously) heal wounds from many generations before.

During this Pluto transit to my Moon I became aware, through my own body, of so many of my mother’s fears .

I could write more on the subject, but for now my split between self-expression and privacy is somehow speaking louder. It’s also a bit late now.

Perhaps another time…