Never give up to feel your way…

Capricorn season is on and interestingly I’ve been seeing a few different posts on social media advising never to give up or stating that there is never the “right time”, it’s all about forcing your way through.

I understand that cultivating will power and determination can be empowering, especially for the strong Capricorn/Saturnian people out there.

But my intuition says that there is a fine line between the positive and the more shadowy manifestations of it.

I feel that many of the transformative lessons reflected by current Pluto transiting Capricorn is somehow connected with the other end of the axis, Cancer and self-care.

Cancer is the astrological sign that I mostly connected with the archetype of the great mother, it is ruled by the Moon which, in the sky, is our most obvious reflection of natural cycles and changes.

It’s no news that the 28 days cycle of the Moon resonates with the 28 days of the female cycle.

Every month it reminds us that we also wax and wane, and that expecting to be productive and strong willed every day is unrealistic and potentially damaging.

How many years, I, oblivious to my cyclic nature, have felt guilty and tried forcing activity when what I needed most was resting and paying attention to my inner visions.

Same about seasons.

How many fruits can you reap during winter time, when the trees are resting and concentrating energy in its roots under the ground?!

We are not machines, we also need our restful phases and I do believe that, like everything in the natural world, there is a right time to do things.

Reconnecting with our intuition, the feminine within, will provide us with guidance. But for that to happen, we need to learn how to shut our overly busy minds up and listen to our body.

 

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Full Moon highlights

We just had a full moon in Cancer on the 1 of January and will be having another one on the 31.

The first one was mildly intense for me. I had my brother and 2 other old friends from school staying over at my place for a few days. It was really nice to have them around and we did have fun.

But I also caught myself worrying about everyone else’s wellbeing and feeling stressed out most of the time.

It is interesting to see how during a full moon things get really heightened depending on what gets activated in your natal chart. Whatever issue is being transformed in a longer process (reflected by a long term transit) gets very much under the spotlight in some kind of exaggerated form if activated by the full moon.

During the last few days I could really see the people pleaser in me (reflected by my moon in Libra) and how difficult it was to assert myself and my needs.

They went back to London couple of days ago and Im still recovering and indulging myself in my own company, aware that on the 31 of January there will be a full moon eclipse exactly conjunct my MC/IC axis.

Financial struggles and perhaps some inflexibility on my part seem to be pushing me to move again.

(Its funny to see that even though I have lots of mutability in my chart and a natural willingness to adapt, having the ruler of the 6th house conjunct Uranus in the first house reflects a side of myself that is very stubborn and peculiar when it comes to daily job and routine…)

I might be getting a job at a community in the Forest of Dean, still waiting to hear from them.

And here we perhaps come full circle.

With the starting point reflected by Pluto transiting my Moon in early 2015 and me leaving my London life behind in search for a more meaningful way to live.

That does not mean that I won’t be working on my astrological practice anymore.

But I can see big changes heading my way, highlighted by the coming full moon eclipse.

Shadow work cast the light

I have presented a talk about the shadow in the horoscope on the 21 of December. The theme was chosen in relation to the season, it just made sense to talk about the shadow on the darkest day of the year.

When I was back at home I did my own private Yule ritual to honor and welcome the Sun’s rebirth.

And that’s when I fully realised that for the past month, whilst preparing my presentation (this time I had a projector available to use), I was doing intense shadow work myself.

{It is amazing to see how we naturally start resonating with whatever subject we decide to put our minds into.}

The last month has been one of the quietest, with no other occasional work to do, and I felt thrown back at myself.

A lot of anxious feelings and many of my insecurities came out to stare me in the face.

It was interesting to be going through yet another layer in this process, which, even though very challenging, seems to be strongly offering me an opportunity to grow and find my sense of self and solidity within rather than without.

(I truly feel that Pluto in Capricorn transiting my second house, and aspecting my Moon from there, symbolises my search for a different, perhaps more authentic, sense of security…)

With Saturn moving into Capricorn in the winter solstice as well, I also had the realisation that my ambitions were somehow being tested and needing reassessment.

My natal Sun is in the 10th house and vocation does seem to be the arena where my light shines the brightest, but it must come from the heart, not from an ego seeking validation!

My spiritual values and integrity have also been challenged throughout this shadow work period. The choices that I have been making so far, based in what I believe rather than “social ideas of success”, versus the incredibly intense insecurity and fear of being “wiped out” and not surviving in this world.

The whole thing got me thinking about community living once more and with a strong urge to move closer to nature again.

Liz Greene said in one of her Pluto webinars that when you are going through a Pluto transit, all of the profound changes that you experience individually are part of your role in the collective changes that Pluto’s cycles are actually reflecting.

Our personal drama gives us the guts and impulses that later on will compound the social transformation.

We are talking about survival here.

And with Pluto in Capricorn (and Saturn as well) I really feel that our survival depends on changing many of the basic values that our society is built upon, and that Donald Trump seems to be the personification of it, in a rather exaggerated form.

I am talking about patriarchy here.

The lack of connection and devaluation of the feminine (objectification of women, lack of connection and caring for the environment, profit coming before wellbeing, etc) and a distorted manifestation of masculinity, if not changed, will destroy us.

All of these rather important questions are the foundation of my need for reassessing ambitions.

How do I want to develop my astrology business in this world? What kind of contribution can I truly make without changing my life style?  How can I put my skills into service without feeding the patriarchal structures in our society?

Colourful Symbolism..

I have been really busy lately, a lot of inner changes taking place and a few short trips.

But I felt the urge to try coming back to writing again.

I have recently gone to a training course in theatre and the experience was quite powerful (I have a strong positive feeling about mixing astrology with theatre!).

Ate the end of the course we performed Macbeth, a play that strongly reflects transiting Pluto’s last almost exact square to my Moon, happening now.

The hero’s journey into the underworld.

A descent into the darkness.

I came back home feeling that there is much to integrate from the whole experience, and obviously, also much to be integrated from my personal descent into the underworld in the last few years. (whilst Pluto transited my Moon)

And yesterday while I was dancing in my room I had this vision about practicing astrology like I would paint a picture.

In my experience, when I tried painting a picture with too much rigidity I never felt quite happy about the result. It was only when I understood that the colours should blend with fluidity that I started to truly appreciate my art work. I started to feel freer to experiment and something quite unique would come out.

I feel that with astrology is a little bit like that, if you get too stuck with the cookbook type of interpretation you end up too rigid in your interpretation of a person’s natal chart or process of growth. There is no movement or texture. No different nuances.

I had this vision while I was reassessing what happened to me in the last year.

Pluto transiting my Moon has never left the background, but different transits have added different tones and stories to it. Around the time that Jupiter transited my Venus I entered a very Jupiterian relationship, with a very Jupiterian character. (from Venus, transiting Jupiter then moved towards making a conjunction to my Moon)

A lot of the themes in the relationship was very much about Jupiter, but, Plutonian themes were also a strong part of the whole thing.

I can almost see this on a canvas!

We can’t really separate one from the other with clear cut. Think about painting with watercolours, about how the colours blend and mix in a unique way..

Now try seeing astrology in this way.

 

A few words on the next Full Moon Eclipse..

Im back home in the UK now and can’t help but feel overwhelmed by I am not even sure what (?).

This is the second month that I can feel very strongly the energetic build up of the full Moon and I try just watching it without getting myself too involved in it.

As I take a look at the full Moon’s chart for Bristol (where I currently live) I can’t help but notice Pluto, placed very closely to the ascendant, still making the exact square to Jupiter while Venus in Cancer moves closer to forming a T square.

To me this feels like a big stretch up for transformation, the transformation (potential growth) of our relationships (Jupiter in Libra) linked up with a somewhat survival agenda (Pluto in Capricorn opposite Venus in Cancer), and/or perhaps questions like how much do we depend on our relationships in order to survive will be brought into light.

I see issues of boundaries, individuality and togetherness being triggered.

Jupiter is the apex of the forming T square and it also aspects both the Moon and the Sun, by respectively a trine and a sextile, seeming to hold the key to all of these conflicting and apparent opposing forces.

What is the feeling connected with Jupiter in Libra?! What can be the key possibly held by this symbolism?!

My take on it is: relationships that promote equality and growth!

With the building up of these energies we can potentially see codependency being strongly challenged.  (an issue not taken lightly by neither Aquarius or Leo who symbolises the axis connected with individuality and the specialness/uniqueness of each individual..)

Also this full Moon, happening at 15 degrees Aquarius (opposite the Sun at 15 degrees Leo), does make me think of issues connected with belonging and our sense of alienation being activated.

The Sabian symbol for 15 degrees Aquarius is ” Two lovebirds sitting on a fence and singing happily.”

This somehow resonates with what I have been feeling regarding this lunation and I can’t help but think that the two lovebirds are sitting on a fence not on a tree or something else, they are sitting on a fence which has division and separation at its core purpose I suppose..

This full Moon is also a lunar eclipse and I see eclipses strongly connected with turning points. It feels like a portal that once crossed there is no way back.. not that we would want to go back necessarily…