Beginnings

It’s been couple of weeks since I made my decision to focus all of my energy into my astrology work.

I see the progress that I did not manage making before, when I had another job to distract me. There is also definitely the question of the rigth timing involved here.

We just can’t force things to happen.

With my new sense of commitment and seriousness about my profession, symbolically reflected by my progressed moon in Capricorn (which I’m truly enjoying at the moment), I’ve accomplished a few little things. There are some readings lined up for me to do, there are some that I already did, also finally got myself an insurance and a membership that will allow me to see my clients at the wellbeing centre in Hamilton House, and finally got 2 little talks on astrology lined up as well.

A lot of exciting things unfolding since my conscious decision followed by action taking.

And I’m loving the feeling of freedom to focus entirely on my passion..

I have even filled much of my spare time with reading my astrology books again as I want to perfect my practice and, by doing that, provide a much better service.

I’m loving it.

I recently went back to finish reading Geoffrey Cornelius “The moment of astrology” and the insights it is providing me are truly valuable right now. I’m finding his discussion on astrology as divination and the way he speaks about the nature of symbols fascinating and refreshing at the same time.

I feel that the path I was already naturally taking with my interpretation of the symbols, a much more fluid and intuitive one since Neptune opposed my natal Sun and Mercury, is strongly connected with Cornelius’s ideas discussed in his book.

His ideas are also almost like giving me “permission” to be creative and to flow with what I feel when seeing an horoscope. It is helping with my confidence and belief in what I do, something that I’ve been struggling with for a long time. (I have also been taking Larch for over 2 months now, the Bach flower remedy to help with confidence)

Geoffrey Cornelius speaks a lot about the intrinsic relationship between symbols and the act of interpreting it, and how important for us astrologers to be conscious of the “creative and participatory dimension of interpretation” (…)

Here is a few more words on that that I resonated strongly with:

“We should not imagine when we take up a line of interpretation that it is the bottom line, or the final and best interpretation. Rather, it is the interpretation that we have taken up in the light of a particular question that we are concerned with, in a particular context and at that moment in the client’s life. The best and truest interpretation is what the client needs to hear now.” (pp. 222)

Great stuff.

I’m also receiving my new laptop this week and I will then be more present around here with my writings.

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Progressed Moon moves to Capricorn ..

I have made my decision.

I am dedicating all of my energy, not to find or apply to another job that I don’t want to be doing, but to become a full time astrologer.

And do you know what? It feels great. It feels right.

I think the time is ripe for me to start putting myself out there. I feel much more solid in myself and confident on my knowledge and experience.

My progressed moon has also recently just moved to Capricorn and I can totally feel the internal change of mood. My change of focus. Getting organised and investing my time and energy in my career feels great now.

I will be writing more from now on, and I will also work more on posts about astrology itself. (Laptop will be with me at the end of the month!)

 

Tying knots in the 2nd house..

The intensity of these month with the culmination of the last exact square from transiting Pluto to my natal Moon has been quite different from the previous ones.

The impression that I have is that things have been challenged to transform from within,  beginning with the deepest unconscious layers (still when Pluto was 2 degrees orbit away from the first exact square), and now perhaps hitting mostly the more gross parts that still need to be fined tuned.

In the last two months I haven’t had many internal breakdowns or many difficult emotions to deal with. During the first square in March 2015 I was overwhelmed by fear and sadness and emotions in general.

Now I feel a lot more stable and secure within myself.

What seems to be happening in this last stage is more connected with work and financial life and my values really (a lot of the matters connected with the 2nd house of the horoscope).

It was only in the last week that I consciously noticed how much I’m already feeling deflated and bored at work. I think I sort of came to the realisation that this is “just another job” again.

We aren’t really doing much to get involved in the local community, mainly the boss is focused on making money and a bit desperate because we are still not very busy. He is saving money on certain things that I disagree on like rubbish collection (we are not recycling yet!! I still can’t really believe that he doesn’t seem to care too much about that).

Then I also have noticed him at times behaving like a capitalist desperate boss, feeling agitated when he sees you sitting down for a bit (on a shift of 9 hours and and half standing on your feet) on a day that is extremely quiet and there isn’t much to do anyway.

(I’m not holding a grudge or anything, don’t get me wrong. I can see that he is trying his best and that he doesn’t have much experience.)

But my problem is that there seems to be more preoccupation with looking cool and forward thinking and ecological than actually truly caring about the environment for instance.

I understand that this is just the first month and chaos is all around. But he did get some extra money from the bank so there shouldn’t be an excuse for recycling and composting food ¬†and coffee waste.

I feel like I’m still going against my values, a bit like I was when living in London.

I don’t want to put my energy into egotistical purposes. I want to work for something that will improve the collective situation somehow.

Power to the people.

So this week I’m only working for 3 days and the idea that I could save up money to do a yoga teacher training in 3 months is gone.

Now I’m not sure anymore. All I know is that I have to invest more time and energy into my work as an astrologer and perhaps still live on a low budget for some time.

But I refuse to give my energy full time to something that I don’t believe in..

Food for thought

I have the whole house for myself since Saturday night until Wednesday evening.

I had forgotten how it feels.. even the occasional loneliness feels lovely.

My energy is becoming more concentrated in the bedroom and I’m slowly allowing myself to settle in this place.

There is a cemetery around the corner of my house where I went for couple of walks. The energy there is peaceful and soothing.

I had yet another strange experience whilst giving an astrological reading. This time though it wasn’t as awkward, it was just confusing. The client didn’t seem to care much about anything.

It wasn’t difficult for me to do the reading. She was lovely and I’m sure that we could be good friends and have a laugh together.

But once more it wasn’t the kind of reading that I intend to be doing or the kind of astrology that I believe in.

There was no big insight conducive for transformation.

The lady seemed to be the epitome of Neptune. (Of the confusing side at least..)

She just didn’t know anything and didn’t truly care about what direction things were taking. She couldn’t remember what happened at certain times of her life, and with a lot of confusion in the air, even I started feeling clouded during that reading.

These last couple of readings have made me question a few things about my work as an astrologer.

Perhaps I should trust more and flow with it.

Today I was rereading Carl Jung “Man and his Symbols” and at some point, speaking of dream interpretation and the relationship between the analyst and the analysand, he says:

“The individual is the only reality. The further we move away from the individual toward abstract ideas about Homo Sapiens, the more likely we are to fall into error.”

Maybe that’s it, the more we try to fit or shove the symbols down the client’s throat the more likely we are to fall into error..

Professional quest..

I feel strange now.

Just had a confusing experience with a client.

I’ve been quite busy this week with astrological work and everything is going pretty well with that.

As I come out of my personal crisis, my practice as an astrologer is becoming clearer. I feel that I work as a “transformer”.

The work is shamanic.

I’m also realising that most of the time parental introjection and family karma is an important part of my readings.

Is about becoming who you are by also realising who you’re not.

Or in other words, all about what Carl Jung called the “process of individuation”, the process of becoming your own individual.

But I’m not sure how to deal with a situation where the client doesn’t resonate much with his/her astrological blue print.

It’s weird and uncomfortable for both of us.

They usually seem to be out of touch with their innermost self, without any interest in psychology, and what they are looking for is a ready made answer or prediction of what’s going to happen.

I guess I should have stayed with the basic sets of characteristics of each planet in each sign?! Maybe I could have helped more that way?!

Fellow astrologers out there, what do you do in this kind of situation?!

Feel free to also share your experiences!