Uranian impulses

I’ve been reading Liz Greene’s book ‘The Art of Stealing Fire’ about Uranus and already had some powerful insights on the archetypal energy that the planet represents. She starts by saying that in her perspective, contrary to what we find in many astrology text books, there is nothing individual about Uranus. According to Liz Greene all of the outer planets represent collective yearnings and impulses that are best mediated by a strong (healthy) ego rather than the person being identified/possessed by it.

In her words: ‘Human nature, without individual consciousness and reflection, cannot contain Uranian vision, which tends to break loose and overwhelm the powers of individual reason and individual feeling.’

I resonate with that, and looking back in my life I feel that there were many moments where I unconsciously had a reaction based much more in ideas and visions rather than how I was truly feeling. I feel that the masculine has somehow overpowered the feminine in me over and over again, especially before my Saturn Return in 2012. (Uranus is conjunct Mars [my chart ruler] in the first house, square Sun/Mercury in the 10th, and opposite Chiron in the 7th).

Further in the book, on Uranian people’s difficulty in expressing feelings, Greene says : ‘Something inside keeps saying, “Don’t get stuck in all that emotional glue, keep the door open so you can leave if you have to.” (…) I think Uranus shuts itself up, because the expression of personal feeling binds us to other people, and the daimon wants us to be ready with our luggage packed and our tickets and passports in our hands.’   This quote really summarises how I dealt with attachments many times, wanting to suddenly break them and just walk away. There is a strong impulse in me that feels pretty much like what she describes in the book.

It has been a journey making this part (the one represented by the strong Uranus in my chart) conscious and stopping identifying with it as ‘myself’.

At the moment, for the last three years,  I have attracted a partner that is also highly Uranian and he somehow had been carrying a lot of the rational, logical, removed from human emotions type of inclinations for me. It’s just recently, after we separately went to see a jungian therapist astrologer, that it somehow dawned on me what was going on. (or at least one layer of it all!)

So now, even finding this book by Liz Greene in a shop in Glastonbury for a very good price seems to be reflecting this new understanding that perhaps Im ready to embrace… I don’t know. But I silently stop blaming him for the lack of ‘human connection’ in our relationship.

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Words for catching up

Pluto is making its lat exact square to my natal moon for the whole month of November and I feel like I’ve been very busy.

There is a lot that I would like to do, but at the moment most of my energy is concentrated in rebuilding the material structures of my life.

I’m also putting some of my energy into socialising and sharing myself with others, especially with my boyfriend.

Yes, a lot has happened and I haven’t really broken up the relationship with the sagittarian guy I’ve met at the festival during the summer. After much turmoil (especially during the intense month of September and early October), and presenting many challenges to each other, our bond seems to be becoming more solid.

This is proving to be a deeper relationship.

I can’t be bother to pretend being something that I’m not and even when I sometimes unconsciously try reliving some of the old patterns of behaviour he stops me right away by openly challenging me.

He doesn’t let me fall asleep.

Two days ago I bought couple of floral remedies and I am really interested in taking some kind of course or going for a workshop to learn more about it.

They truly fascinate me and I can easily imagine them becoming my next obsession..

I started taking centaury (one of Bach remedies).

The medium I’ve met at a healing centre in Holland during my travels last year who told me I should have that one.

In five minutes she was able to summarise what was one of the main reasons for many of my issues. That was impressive and her words echoes in my mind still.

It felt like an important part of the puzzle was given to me on that day. My search had become a little clearer.

About 10 days ago I watched a webinar about Pluto with Liz Greene.

She is truly brilliant.

One of the tips she gave us was to track down the transits from Pluto to your natal chart, even the ones that happened before you were born, and see what was happening in the family. In this way, she said, we could perhaps achieve a better understanding of what Pluto means to us, of how we experience this archetype in a more personal way. (She says that Pluto is connected with a collective instinct in order to survive.)

With Pluto, she said that, “Events carry a feeling of fatedness, necessity, the unfolding of a previously invisible pattern, unforeseen consequences of earlier choices made not only by oneself, but by one’s family or the collective.”

And further down she said that ” all Pluto transits carry with them an impersonal or collective impetus toward survival through transformation that is archetypal and lies beyond one’s own personal issues.”

Depending on which planet is being touched by transiting Pluto we can have clues on what kind of contribution we are bringing to the collective “impetus to survive”.

The process is so deep and multi layered that I can’t express very well all that has, and still is, happening in my psyche.

But hopefully I will be writing a bit more from now on..