Reflections in the darkness

(Written last night)

There was a thunderstorm here earlier today and we are still out of electricity, it has probably been around 5 hours and a half already (already?) and time moves very slow. These words just made me think about the energy reflected by the symbolism of Uranus, which is usually linked to electricity and lightning bolt speed insights.

Uranus and boredom don’t go very well, in my vision.

Interesting to see myself without all of these gadgets that electric power enables us to have on our daily life, our daily routines. How much of my experience of reality changes, how much more presence can I feel versus how much more boredom? Or do I feel as much boredom in my daily life but just have a myriad of different options of gadgets that serves best as a distraction for myself and, at the same time, a distraction from myself?

For now, I still have my laptop, though with only 20 per cent of battery, so a few more ‘not sure how many minutes’ moments for me, and I just caught myself writing this and moving my thoughts again to ‘when will the electricity finally come back’?

It’s helpless.

But another interesting idea that just came to my mind is observing how much more limited having a laptop without wifi is. What really is the internet? This blob of connections with a massive capacity for keeping information, sort of like a giant invisible brain that forms and keeps connections. Infinite connections. Infinite combinations and possibilities?

And then there is me here, disconnected. But I somehow hear the sounds of my neighbours more clearly, and the children laughing at a distance, I think they might be playing on the street? Sounds like they’re having fun. There is electricity on that side though and I wonder if the laughter is caused by a distraction or by more presence in playful games. Sounds like they’re running.

And I listen. And I also hear my thoughts, and my feelings seem to be a little louder by candlelight. I’m not really sure.

Coming back to what perhaps my first idea in writing this piece was on and the relationship to astrology and some material that I’ve been recently reading on ‘Deep Ecology’. I read a very interesting paper where the author critically discusses the relationship between ‘Social justice’, ‘Mysticism’ and ‘Deep Ecology’ and different possible combinations between the three. For example, sometimes criticising mysticism and at other times arguing that the feeling underlining mystical experiences is the same feeling described by Deep Ecology and is a requirement for a change of paradigm powerful enough to promote the social changes we are so much in need for. (or is this the idealism of Uranus speaking through me here?)

I excitedly ask myself if astrology can promote a mystical experience by reconnecting us with the cosmos and the sense of unity which always seems to be importantly present in the description of these kinds of experiences. Maybe I will pursue this question in my dissertation.

Anyway, my insight is that this year of 2020 seems to be an important one regarding ecology and collective change especially reflected by Saturn and Jupiter conjunction in Aquarius that will happen later on this year. And how can we make these necessary changes without changing ourselves first? Impossible I believe.

How can we become greener in our psyches? And I don’t mean here becoming greener by only cutting down your consume of meat or plastic, although these changes on routine and priorities are also an important part of the process. I mean doing the inner work at the same time. Changing our old patterns of thinking and behaviour, becoming more conscious and elevated in our self-awareness and relationship to each other and to the world around us.

And how is that process going for you?

Only 15 per cent of battery left for me and still no sign of electricity. Dogs are now barking in the background. And I listen.

Progressed Moon conjunct IC

I’ve been back in Brazil for just over 3 weeks and much has happened already, or has it not?!

Since my progressed Moon entered the sign of my natal IC in the beginning of September my attention has naturally turned towards exploring and understanding more about my roots.

I’ve been socialising quite a bit and going out observing everything with the curiosity of an anthropologist doing field work in some remote and yet familiar place.

I used to feel that I don’t belong here, and for the first time I am willing to recognise a slight sense of belonging that seems to be increasing as time goes by…

Not sure.

Perhaps Im getting more comfortable with being part of the syncretism that I come from. Being some sort of Alien Frankenstein (how much Aquarius on the IC does this sound?!) returning ‘home’… home?!

Transiting Saturn is forming its last square to my natal Moon and I don’t feel the typical symptoms associated with this transit: loneliness, depression, etc. I really don’t, which is a reminder to never dismember astrological symbolism too much. What I sense happening instead, is me questioning if I should come back to live here…  or not…