No, I didn’t get the job.
And from one moment to the next I am thrown back into the Pluto transiting second house, going back to square natal Moon, situation.
Anxious feelings about survival pervading me… an unpleasant sensation in my stomach and the absolute certainty that I do not want and will not go back to working in hospitality.
Even if that means giving up my life in Bristol and going back to Brasil.
There must be a way out from jobs that you don’t enjoy, jobs that crush your soul. I can’t go on like that anymore.
And at the same time..
The fear that I’m never gonna get out of this, no matter how much I want, how much I try, the fear of never accomplishing my purpose..
The fear of running out of cash like I did when I moved here in September last year.
On another hand I did do quite a few readings since I quit the cafe hell. Is just dealing with the insecurity of not working for someone else, which at the end of the day I don’t truly want anyways. So what is the trouble?! What’s wrong with me?!
Perhaps the last wave of infantile fears and inappropriate behaviour that is coming up to the surface for me to release them?
Pluto will be back at 16 degrees Capricorn by December, only one degree away from my natal Moon, and that does reflect that the transformation (connected with this symbolism in particular) still an ongoing process for me.
I did notice that I had a massive crisis at my cafe work, really wanting to leave, on the very same day that Pluto went retrograde.
It made me chuckle when I realised the synchronicity, and the thought of “no, it isn’t finished yet” came straight back into my mind.
There we go, here I am again, struggling to find a way of surviving in this society (Soulful survival). Getting extremely fed up with what prevents me from becoming myself.
What happens next? I don’t know, I just don’t know.