In between worlds

Im on a haze.

It has been challenging to concentrate in the last couple of months and again I find myself struggling to keep up with my writing.

The full super blue blood moon eclipse on the 31 of January at 11 degrees Leo/Aquarius (bang on my MC/IC) has been truly intense.

It culminated with me finding out that I got the job at the Forest of Dean and everything in my life (regarding home and belonging) changes once more.

I am happy… and although surprisingly busy with astrology work, I just can’t seem to be able to focus a hundred per cent in my career at this moment.

Readings and lectures are going quite well but my process of change and becoming is taking over for now. The whole Pluto-Moon stuff that has been happening within me still going strong.

I would love to be doing and writing more, but there doesn’t seem to be much separation between my process of growth and the services that I can offer people. And at the moment, growth and change takes me over.

I have been reading a lot about greek mythology and psychology though, and have a strong feeling regarding a master course on the subject.

We will see.

For now, Im in between worlds. And that’s that.

Acceptance.

 

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Never give up to feel your way…

Capricorn season is on and interestingly I’ve been seeing a few different posts on social media advising never to give up or stating that there is never the “right time”, it’s all about forcing your way through.

I understand that cultivating will power and determination can be empowering, especially for the strong Capricorn/Saturnian people out there.

But my intuition says that there is a fine line between the positive and the more shadowy manifestations of it.

I feel that many of the transformative lessons reflected by current Pluto transiting Capricorn is somehow connected with the other end of the axis, Cancer and self-care.

Cancer is the astrological sign that I mostly connected with the archetype of the great mother, it is ruled by the Moon which, in the sky, is our most obvious reflection of natural cycles and changes.

It’s no news that the 28 days cycle of the Moon resonates with the 28 days of the female cycle.

Every month it reminds us that we also wax and wane, and that expecting to be productive and strong willed every day is unrealistic and potentially damaging.

How many years, I, oblivious to my cyclic nature, have felt guilty and tried forcing activity when what I needed most was resting and paying attention to my inner visions.

Same about seasons.

How many fruits can you reap during winter time, when the trees are resting and concentrating energy in its roots under the ground?!

We are not machines, we also need our restful phases and I do believe that, like everything in the natural world, there is a right time to do things.

Reconnecting with our intuition, the feminine within, will provide us with guidance. But for that to happen, we need to learn how to shut our overly busy minds up and listen to our body.

 

Shadow work cast the light

I have presented a talk about the shadow in the horoscope on the 21 of December. The theme was chosen in relation to the season, it just made sense to talk about the shadow on the darkest day of the year.

When I was back at home I did my own private Yule ritual to honor and welcome the Sun’s rebirth.

And that’s when I fully realised that for the past month, whilst preparing my presentation (this time I had a projector available to use), I was doing intense shadow work myself.

{It is amazing to see how we naturally start resonating with whatever subject we decide to put our minds into.}

The last month has been one of the quietest, with no other occasional work to do, and I felt thrown back at myself.

A lot of anxious feelings and many of my insecurities came out to stare me in the face.

It was interesting to be going through yet another layer in this process, which, even though very challenging, seems to be strongly offering me an opportunity to grow and find my sense of self and solidity within rather than without.

(I truly feel that Pluto in Capricorn transiting my second house, and aspecting my Moon from there, symbolises my search for a different, perhaps more authentic, sense of security…)

With Saturn moving into Capricorn in the winter solstice as well, I also had the realisation that my ambitions were somehow being tested and needing reassessment.

My natal Sun is in the 10th house and vocation does seem to be the arena where my light shines the brightest, but it must come from the heart, not from an ego seeking validation!

My spiritual values and integrity have also been challenged throughout this shadow work period. The choices that I have been making so far, based in what I believe rather than “social ideas of success”, versus the incredibly intense insecurity and fear of being “wiped out” and not surviving in this world.

The whole thing got me thinking about community living once more and with a strong urge to move closer to nature again.

Liz Greene said in one of her Pluto webinars that when you are going through a Pluto transit, all of the profound changes that you experience individually are part of your role in the collective changes that Pluto’s cycles are actually reflecting.

Our personal drama gives us the guts and impulses that later on will compound the social transformation.

We are talking about survival here.

And with Pluto in Capricorn (and Saturn as well) I really feel that our survival depends on changing many of the basic values that our society is built upon, and that Donald Trump seems to be the personification of it, in a rather exaggerated form.

I am talking about patriarchy here.

The lack of connection and devaluation of the feminine (objectification of women, lack of connection and caring for the environment, profit coming before wellbeing, etc) and a distorted manifestation of masculinity, if not changed, will destroy us.

All of these rather important questions are the foundation of my need for reassessing ambitions.

How do I want to develop my astrology business in this world? What kind of contribution can I truly make without changing my life style?  How can I put my skills into service without feeding the patriarchal structures in our society?

Full Moon in Gemini and the heart of the mind..

I am in a cafe somewhere in Bristol now.

I had forgotten how much my house gets cold in the winter (I know is not even winter officially yet..).

No matter for how long we leave the heater on, as soon as we turn it off the whole house gets cold in a minute. Or so it seems..

I think I did not mind the cold so much last year because I remember being so thrilled by having a home again. It didn’t matter.

Anyways, enough of the moaning, I came to a cafe to see if I could be a little more productive outside my freezing house.

Tomorrow is the last Full Moon of 2017 which will take place at 11 degrees Gemini (and is a super moon, it will look bigger than usual!).

As I stare at the astrological chart for this Full Moon, I can’t help but think that issues of communication might come up in all forms and shapes..

Gemini is ruled by Mercury, which, conjunct to Saturn, will be turning retrograde on the same day of this Full Moon. The infamous Mercury retrograde is carrying some information on what the culmination of energy represented by the Full Moon is about..

Revisiting, rewriting, editing, reassessing.. (these are all words that connect with a more constructive side of Mercury’s cycles of retrogradation)

Not only that, planet Neptune at 11 degrees Pisces is forming an exact T square with the Sun and the Moon.

So we’ve got Saturn, Mercury retrograde and the Sun in Sagittarius, plus Neptune in Pisces holding important clues here and they are all ruled by Jupiter at 11 degrees Scorpio.

My take here is that instead of arguing about the truth or trying too hard to communicate our side of the story, is best to go back inwards and reconnect with our intuition.

Jupiter (ruling all those planets in Sag) is forming an exact trine to Neptune (the apex of the T square) and it seems like the realm of feelings, intuition and the imagination could have a particularly important role during this lunation.

I strongly see the transit of Jupiter through Scorpio as the reflection, and support at this time, of empowerment through healing our deep wounds. If we want to, we could somehow accomplish more on that department.

Jupiter in Scorpio at best speaks of expanding personal empowerment.

Empowering the Self (or your higher Self).

Use the strong energies of this beautiful Full Moon to connect more with your centre. Meditate, perform rituals, any spiritual practice could be of great aid in achieving clarity and understanding here.

I feel that this Full Moon is reflecting yet another stage on the collective (and individual!) process of healing the split between the rational mind and the heart.

 

Colourful Symbolism..

I have been really busy lately, a lot of inner changes taking place and a few short trips.

But I felt the urge to try coming back to writing again.

I have recently gone to a training course in theatre and the experience was quite powerful (I have a strong positive feeling about mixing astrology with theatre!).

Ate the end of the course we performed Macbeth, a play that strongly reflects transiting Pluto’s last almost exact square to my Moon, happening now.

The hero’s journey into the underworld.

A descent into the darkness.

I came back home feeling that there is much to integrate from the whole experience, and obviously, also much to be integrated from my personal descent into the underworld in the last few years. (whilst Pluto transited my Moon)

And yesterday while I was dancing in my room I had this vision about practicing astrology like I would paint a picture.

In my experience, when I tried painting a picture with too much rigidity I never felt quite happy about the result. It was only when I understood that the colours should blend with fluidity that I started to truly appreciate my art work. I started to feel freer to experiment and something quite unique would come out.

I feel that with astrology is a little bit like that, if you get too stuck with the cookbook type of interpretation you end up too rigid in your interpretation of a person’s natal chart or process of growth. There is no movement or texture. No different nuances.

I had this vision while I was reassessing what happened to me in the last year.

Pluto transiting my Moon has never left the background, but different transits have added different tones and stories to it. Around the time that Jupiter transited my Venus I entered a very Jupiterian relationship, with a very Jupiterian character. (from Venus, transiting Jupiter then moved towards making a conjunction to my Moon)

A lot of the themes in the relationship was very much about Jupiter, but, Plutonian themes were also a strong part of the whole thing.

I can almost see this on a canvas!

We can’t really separate one from the other with clear cut. Think about painting with watercolours, about how the colours blend and mix in a unique way..

Now try seeing astrology in this way.