..”unconditional cosmic acceptance”..

I am preparing a little introductory talk that I will be giving tonight to the 24 Indian girls that are staying with us for 3 weeks. They are attending to a program on becoming “peace ambassadors” the we offer here where Im currently living and working.

While I was printing their charts I’ve noticed that more than half of the girls have either Moon in Scorpio or the Moon forming a major aspect to Pluto. Some of them that don’t, have either Pluto on the angles or other personal planets in Scorpio.

Im thinking that it is interesting to see such a plutonic signature in a group of young Indian women that are here to learn different skills to bring back to where they come from in order to promote positive change.

Interestingly, although I am off from work officially, today one of the trustees came for lunch and she was brought into my house by the founder of this organisation to have a quick look on something.  When she met me she was told that Im an astrologer and, as soon as she heard that, she placed the palm of her hand right up into my nose asking me what I see.

As I explained her I didn’t read palms she impatiently asked me what do I do then. When I mentioned astrology charts based on the date and time of birth she just quickly told me her birthday and the hour of her birth. I then went on explaining that I actually needed a computer program and it would take a little time for preparing the interpretation…

Out off politeness I wrote down her details and the two other women that showed up with her also wrote down their details on my book. The situation made me chuckle inside for a few different reasons, but the main one was the synchronicity between what happened today and all the questions I’ve been asking myself while reading “The Astrologer, the Counsellor and the Priest” written by Liz Greene (the one I mentioned on my last post).

In the beginning of this seminar she speaks about the archetypes that might be unconsciously played out by the astrologer and one of them is Prometheus and stealing fire from the gods. Liz says that like in the myth, we also have to be punished, and she believes that this might be in the root of many common struggles that astrologers usually have. The lack of material wealth, the underlying feeling of guilt that prevents us from charging a proper price for our work or to value our time, and the feeling of loneliness and separation from society. Most people don’t get what it is that we do!

The situation today was the manifestation of some of these symptoms, the women barging in and expecting me to just freely give my time, the palm thing, the lack of boundaries and respect for my professionalism?

Anyway I haven’t got much time left to finish this post so I would like to end with a quote from the same book I’ve been talking about.

Liz Greene is speaking about what we do as astrologers (definitely not necessarily the only definition, but interesting food for thought) :

“Much of what we do for the client has nothing to do with the specific configurations we are looking at, but rather, with the fact that the chart, and ultimately God or the gods through the patterns of the chart, affirm the right of that person to be what he or she is. In this sense the astrologer  acts as intermediary for the cosmos, affirming the individual’s identity regardless of parental expectations imposed on it. A chart reading can be a revelation of unconditional cosmic acceptance.”

 

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Saturn stabilising energy

I have been meaning to come back here for quite a while but just didn’t manage.

In the last month I’ve developed a taste for the magazine “Womankind” (amazingly beautiful and ad free, full of really interesting articles and interviews), continued reading books and worked on developing my new routine in the community Im living and working since February this year.

Since Pluto has made the last square to my natal Moon things seem to have settled within and without.

My boyfriend also got a job as a cook and has moved here with me since around March. We’ve met in July 2016, when Pluto was making the third or forth square to my Moon, and we have been developing what for me is the most authentic, challenging and rewarding partnership that I’ve ever had.

Since Pluto moved from the 2nd to the 3rd house in my chart issues connected with money and self sufficiency are slowly fading. I feel secure and quite solid materially speaking, which is a very different place to be compared to the last 6 years of insecurity and little money to spend.

I can buy things now. I can also invest money in education or travels if I wish to do so. (Jupiter is placed in the second house in my horoscope, can you tell?)

It is very interesting to observe how feelings and themes are constantly shifting in a synchronous dance with the cosmos.

Going from these long lasting years of emotional breakdown and a tragic, and intense, feeling of insecurity and death to regained confidence and solidity.

From transiting Pluto square natal Moon to transiting Saturn trine natal Mercury and Sun (with Uranus heading towards a trine to those natal planets as well).

I feel strong and capable. I also see recognition being bestowed upon myself in the community and at work. Me and my boyfriend have been offered a little wonderful house in the grounds where we work. We are finally going to have the chance to live on our own within the community.

And the house is amazing, with beautiful big windows facing the forest.

We move in less than a month.

Life has a funny way of developing if we dare allowing it enough space to do so.

Now in the last few days I’ve been contemplating applying for a master in cultural astronomy and astrology. I somehow feel that this could be a wonderful way of expressing these supportive and earthy transits that I am going through.

At my job I also have the opportunity for writing projects for training courses and I feel that this master course will perhaps be giving me much needed food for thought and inspiration.

I had my eye on this master degree for a while but was put off by my lack of stability and material security. How can I concentrate and write essays when Im not sure if I can pay the rent in the end of the month?

 

 

Subpersonalities and Astrology

I have been truly busy.

I guess that’s no news since my last post (or maybe the one just before the last?)

I remember talking about how much I’m actually enjoying the energy that the entrance of my progressed Moon into Capricorn is reflecting at this moment in time.

Focus, grounding, practicality and the enjoyment of doing what needs to be done.

But everything has two sides, and yesterday I just realised how much I’ve been under the grips of my animus. The masculine in me has been repressing and beating my feminine up big time.

The realisation came after a heated argument with my boyfriend about statistics and astrology that went wrong.

Why was I so strongly attached in defending my point of view like that?

After crying a little and consequently allowing the feminine energy to flow back through me it was clear that the man inside me was just becoming a bit of a tyrant..

And going back to the magical ways that astrology works… right when my boyfriend left, a bit pissed off, I straight away went back to working on the 3 months forecast that I was writing to one of my clients before he arrived.

As Im back to the writings, feeling still quite angry myself, I realised that I was speaking about the Moon activating my client’s natal Chiron in Gemini opposing Mars in Sagittarius when my visitor interrupted me..

I have Chiron in Gemini making an opposition to Mars (conjunct Uranus) in Sagittarius myself and I knew that this configuration, which is the symbolic representation of my animus as well, was being activated at that very moment with the recent argument..

Not only that.

I then became aware that this configuration was somehow overtaking me in the last few days and I wasn’t sure what was going on, why I wasn’t feeling quite right, until that moment..

And now Im also reading a lecture by Howard Saportas on Subpersonalities and psychological conflict.

So interesting!

Seeing each different configuration in the astrological chart as one of your subpersonalities fighting for attention or sometimes possessing you..

Timed by transits and progressions, or perhaps activated by the influence of another person’s presence (which you can see with the synastry), these are the moments that you have the opportunity to reintegrate them and move further ahead on your individuation process.

So today, to bring balance, Im making a point on embracing my feminine energy again.

 

Beginnings

It’s been couple of weeks since I made my decision to focus all of my energy into my astrology work.

I see the progress that I did not manage making before, when I had another job to distract me. There is also definitely the question of the rigth timing involved here.

We just can’t force things to happen.

With my new sense of commitment and seriousness about my profession, symbolically reflected by my progressed moon in Capricorn (which I’m truly enjoying at the moment), I’ve accomplished a few little things. There are some readings lined up for me to do, there are some that I already did, also finally got myself an insurance and a membership that will allow me to see my clients at the wellbeing centre in Hamilton House, and finally got 2 little talks on astrology lined up as well.

A lot of exciting things unfolding since my conscious decision followed by action taking.

And I’m loving the feeling of freedom to focus entirely on my passion..

I have even filled much of my spare time with reading my astrology books again as I want to perfect my practice and, by doing that, provide a much better service.

I’m loving it.

I recently went back to finish reading Geoffrey Cornelius “The moment of astrology” and the insights it is providing me are truly valuable right now. I’m finding his discussion on astrology as divination and the way he speaks about the nature of symbols fascinating and refreshing at the same time.

I feel that the path I was already naturally taking with my interpretation of the symbols, a much more fluid and intuitive one since Neptune opposed my natal Sun and Mercury, is strongly connected with Cornelius’s ideas discussed in his book.

His ideas are also almost like giving me “permission” to be creative and to flow with what I feel when seeing an horoscope. It is helping with my confidence and belief in what I do, something that I’ve been struggling with for a long time. (I have also been taking Larch for over 2 months now, the Bach flower remedy to help with confidence)

Geoffrey Cornelius speaks a lot about the intrinsic relationship between symbols and the act of interpreting it, and how important for us astrologers to be conscious of the “creative and participatory dimension of interpretation” (…)

Here is a few more words on that that I resonated strongly with:

“We should not imagine when we take up a line of interpretation that it is the bottom line, or the final and best interpretation. Rather, it is the interpretation that we have taken up in the light of a particular question that we are concerned with, in a particular context and at that moment in the client’s life. The best and truest interpretation is what the client needs to hear now.” (pp. 222)

Great stuff.

I’m also receiving my new laptop this week and I will then be more present around here with my writings.

Inner chaos

No, I didn’t get the job.

And from one moment to the next I am thrown back into the Pluto transiting second house, going back to square natal Moon, situation.

Anxious feelings about survival pervading me… an unpleasant sensation in my stomach and the absolute certainty that I do not want and will not go back to working in hospitality.

Even if that means giving up my life in Bristol and going back to Brasil.

There must be a way out from jobs that you don’t enjoy, jobs that crush your soul. I can’t go on like that anymore.

And at the same time..

The fear that I’m never gonna get out of this, no matter how much I want, how much I try, the fear of never accomplishing my purpose..

The fear of running out of cash like I did when I moved here in September last year.

On another hand I did do quite a few readings since I quit the cafe hell. Is just dealing with the insecurity of not working for someone else, which at the end of the day I don’t truly want anyways. So what is the trouble?! What’s wrong with me?!

Perhaps the last wave of infantile fears and inappropriate behaviour that is coming up to the surface for me to release them?

Pluto will be back at 16 degrees Capricorn by December, only one degree away from my natal Moon, and that does reflect that the transformation (connected with this symbolism in particular) still an ongoing process for me.

I did notice that I had a massive crisis at my cafe work, really wanting to leave, on the very same day that Pluto went retrograde.

It made me chuckle when I realised the synchronicity, and the thought of “no, it isn’t finished yet” came straight back into my mind.

There we go, here I am again, struggling to find a way of surviving in this society (Soulful survival). Getting extremely fed up with what prevents me from becoming myself.

What happens next? I don’t know, I just don’t know.