Updates of plutonian times..

I’m hanging out at my friend’s kitchen now.

As usual he has woken me up at 7:30 am with his idiosyncratic routine. He is renting both of the bedrooms in the flat so we share the living room when I’m around.

I’m back in London again. I’m still traveling quite a bit even though I’m just getting more and more tired of it.

Last week I was at the forest of Dean which was lovely.

The man I’ve been seeing came to visit me and again we had an intense fight on the third day that we spent together. That’s also the third time this happens.

The Venus square Neptune part of my psyche really can’t seem to be able to discriminate and see this relationship clearly.

On one hand he challenges me a lot, which is great. I’ve never been with a guy who would confront me like he does. On another hand our encounters are becoming very stressful when we fight (even though we also share intense positive moments) and I can’t help but think that perhaps I would be better off on my own.

Since Pluto started transiting my natal Moon I’ve gone through so much strife and crisis. So much destruction has happened and now I just feel like rebuilding myself. Moving into my new home, focusing on saving up some money to buy myself a laptop again (pretty hard to keep writing on this small tablet.), sticking up to a good daily routine.. loving myself…

I’m also sure that he is a manifestation of this transit as I’ve met him when Pluto was retrograde making the third exact square to my moon in July.

Old manipulative tecniques, emotional blackmail, victimisation.. old unconscious patterns of relating in general don’t feature in my interaction with this man.

It doesn’t work. (Not that I consciously want them to work)

He always challenges and questions my communication a lot. He has Venus in Scorpio in the third house and is a lot more direct and talkative than most Scorpio in Venus men that I’ve been with in the past.

He is currently at a 10 day meditation retreat and we agreed not to talk to each other for those days.

Today I’m officially counting down the days to move in to my new bedroom in Bristol. 7 days to go. (And Pluto will be direct when that happens..)

Saturn is also making a trine to my MC and I’ve had a few unexpected requests for astrology work. That’s truly great because I’m not putting much of my energy into my passion at the moment (domestic issues are feeling more urgent with this Pluto/Moon stuff)  so I can only imagine how it will be when I do focus on my work.

Internally I already feel different though. More confidence is available as I’m stepping more and more into my inner authority without feeling scared.

Empowerment.

Also yesterday I did my first head stand.

I’ve been patiently and slowly working towards that since January. I wanted to do it with control and equilibrium rather than by throwing my legs against the wall.

Respect the timing..

(This also works as a symbolic reflection of all the work that I’ve been doing on myself with those multiple transits in the last few years..)

Astrodance of synchronicity

It’s so interesting to observe how the planetary movements do symbolically reflect what goes on.

Cycles within cycles.

For the brief moment that transiting Pluto popped into my 3rd house I started discovering what a real pleasure blogging is. I felt inspired by so many ideas and the whole process of publishing and feeling acknowledged as well.

What a delight to be read by other people.

To feel heard and to be able to share thoughts and feelings.

Then, as Pluto went retrograde and backwards into my second house, my focus has naturally switched back into practical matters.

My new job and the potential for making a more consistent amount of money after at least 5 years of living on a very low budget. The house hunting (yes it is also making the last square to my natal Moon) and the prospect of settling down again, even if just for a few months.

I’m gonna have my own space again!

Put up my pictures on the wall, light up incenses and candles, create my sacred space.

Yesterday I’ve given a reading to a client and at the end was left baffled.

This is one of the things that I really love about astrology, it never bores me. It’s just amazing how much precious information can be accessed and how accurate most of the time.

And how in tune with personal cycles.

And I’m becoming less and less inclined to believe that the planets are “doing” something to us.

We are one and the same, what happens up there is synchronised with the inside here.

No blame and no victims.

Only a beautiful dance of the same elements in different scales..

Astrology of individuation.

I have to confess that I’m not so much into the astrology of general forecasting.

My virgoan mind finds very difficult to make or take in general affirmations about planetary positions without considering the individual that experiences it.

Yeah, right, Saturn is making a square to Neptune in the sky and that could be about a reality check of some kind, but to who? And in what format or in which dimension of life? And what if that Saturn-Neptune square activates my natal angular T-square or is sitting exactly on my Ascendant-Descendant axis?

Same with the lunar cycles. Yes we can be collectively more emotionally charged under the full moon but there is always gonna be a very unique level of experience. That’s what I find most fascinating.

Yes there are many archetypal traits in the Gemini-Sagittarius axis that I could think of, but to me is only when I place that full Moon into someone’s chart that things start to make more sense. Is it about the flourishing of new ideas or opportunities to heal your difficulty in communicating with your partner?

How can you set your intentions with more self-awareness?

To me Astrology is a bit like detective work, you go on following leads. You bring down to the most personal level of experience in order to empower.

Yes, Saturn is about walls and restrictions, limitations or mastery, but how do I relate to that principle?  How do I tend to experience this archetype in my psyche? Which house Saturn falls in and which house does it rule in my horoscope? What aspects does it make?

All of these are symbolically representing a complex that gets activated every now and then (reflected) by transits or progressions. Under a Saturn transit I might get a promotion at work instead of feeling lonely and miserable, or something else.

Every month the full Moon will be casting it’s light into a personal area of your horoscope that, even though archetypal, is unique to you.

 

 

Clarity takes its time 2…

I’m back to write a little more on the clarity that I seem to be achieving, especially since Mercury went retrograde.

Speaking about that, I just want to say that even though many people dread when Mercury goes retrograde I’m specially fond of those times. They are really good for going within to revise situations and things that have been bothering you. I see it as an opportunity for rethinking, for gaining yet another perspective in whatever matter you’ve been thinking of. Mercury retrograde is good for introverted kinds of activities, which is probably why it is so misunderstood.

Anyways, Mercury went retrograde while I was at that festival near Brighton. And yes I started having a few insights into myself, the self that I am becoming, and things to let go of.

My vision seems to be becoming clearer and clearer.

The first synchronicity happened with the girl that went to pick me up at the train station, right in the beginning.

When I was just about to get in the car I spotted a bag from the same yoga school I just came back from in Thailand.  The place where I had a boom of purification and purging. It turned out that she also just came back, (she remembered seen me at the library!), and from a powerful transformative experience as well. I haven’t seen her astrological chart, but she told me about having a stellium in Libra and about how much heavy transformation she’s been going through in the last few years.

That was a magical way to start the festival.

Then right after meeting yet another Libra, a girl started putting up her tent besides mine. She was from Portugal and as we were talking we found out that  she lives in a community near the forest of Dean where I was living last summer. That girl knows pretty much all the people that I got to work and share very especial moments last year.

That was it, another one, just like that.

I was amazed to be hit by two strong synchronicities like those in such a short period of time.

It felt like a confirmation, like a big yes from the universe.

I was right about going there on my own. I was right.

I did meet many interesting people and felt very different from last year’s experience. It was like a very subtle feeling of belonging. The beginning of what seems to be a massive change of lifestyle for me.

I’m not entirely sure about where I’m heading, but seeing all of those beautiful colorful people just felt right. Engaging with them in creative and unique ways just felt right. Being able to be myself without struggle, without feeling the looks of criticism or puzzles from others was amazing. It was like being part of a circus, but in a good way.

(I somehow have always fantasised about belonging to a family in a circus, always traveling and performing)

I felt like being part of a conscious community where people care about each other and at the same time give space for each other to just be.

So many smiles and hugs. So much truthfulness. (And it was a drug and alcohol free festival!)

The message that I want to give with this post is a reminder. No matter how much struggle, confusion, destruction and death you are going through while having an important transit from any of the outer planets (by that I mean Uranus, Neptune and Pluto), don’t forget that clarity takes its time.

But when it hits you, during or after those times, no words to describe, it’s a bit like divine light.

It is powerfully mysterious and yet easy to recognise..

Clarity takes its time..

Once more I’m back in London.

Just went to work at a festival near Brighton. The same one I’ve worked on my birthday last year, just before I left the country in search for myself.

Last year there was a full moon on the day of my birthday and Neptune was making its last exact opposition to my natal Sun. That was intense. Not a plutonic kind of intensity, but a neptunian one.

I was lost. I couldn’t see myself clearly. There was a terrible sense of longing for something that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. I was about to leave the country to one of my biggest adventures but somehow couldn’t feel excited. There was a strange sense of not seeing myself. The strangeness of not having form.

As a result I couldn’t socialise very much during the festival. I was in pain for most of the time. I felt hollow.

Now, after lots of transformation and growth in my travels, being at a festival felt like a different experience. I was there, more grounded in who I am becoming. I now have a sketch, the outline of a bigger me.

It felt great to have a sense of belonging. (The whole Pluto-moon thing going on for me). Amazing to be part of a community. (natal moon in the 11th house…)

I’m in some serious need for rest, so will leave to write about the synchronicities that happened there tomorrow.